Our Family Creed

About five years ago, one of the pastors at our church spoke about the importance of creating a sense of team and vision within your own family.

One of the ways he'd done this with his family was by creating a Family Creed - a list of principals to live by, sort of a mission statement to help define what your family is all about.

As he shared his Family Creed, I feverishly took notes. Our daughter was about six at the time, our son was about four, and there were days during those years I felt like I spent half my time repeating myself, trying to teach the kids and discipline them.

The creed sounded like a great way to focus and get everyone on the same page.

As soon as we got home that day, I copied the list our pastor had shared and created our own Heikka Family Creed...

In case you can't read it...

The Heikka Family Creed

Heikkas share.
Heikkas keep their word.
Heikkas obey.
Heikkas let others go first.
Heikkas don't whine.
Heikkas respect others.
Heikkas leave no one behind.
Heikkas act like gentlemen and ladies.
Heikkas don't quit.
Heikkas don't boast.
Heikkas do everything as if unto the Lord.

When Mike and I shared it with the kids, it gave us a new framework to talk about the importance of things like letting others go first and not leaving anyone behind, like never quitting and always respecting others.

We made copies and taped the creed to each of their bedroom doors.

Sometimes the tape would lose its stick and the creeds would fall to the floor, but we'd always put them back up.

After a while, our kids even had the creed memorized. They could proudly recite it on their own.

It was helpful as a parent to be able to refer to it over the years, reminding the kids as they'd fight over a toy..."Heikkas share," or as they'd tell us about someone at school who was getting left out..."Heikkas don't leave anyone behind," or if they weren't putting their full effort into something..."Heikkas don't quit."

At eight and ten years old now (actually, almost nine and eleven), our kids need less reminding. And, I admit, we haven't read or even talked about our Family Creed in a while.

In fact, the copy on my son's door fell off several weeks ago.  Instead of taping it back up, I set it on his dresser and made a mental note to get to it later.

I didn't think he had noticed that it had fallen.

Until the other day,

when I walked in his room and saw this...

He had taken it off his dresser and tacked it to his wall, all on his own.

It was still important to him.

And it should be important to me, too.

I might've thought it wasn't needed as much anymore. But the fact that he put it on his wall made me take a fresh look at the principals and vision we share as a family.

And those aren't something any of us should outgrow.

I loved the reminder my son gave me, and I also loved the fact that he used a push pin instead of tape to put the creed on his wall.

Because I don't think it will be falling down again anytime soon. :)

Creating Quality Time by Ignoring the Clock...

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I'm feeling especially grateful this week, for so many things.

And I'm grateful for all of you, and the fact that you take the time to stop by here and read my words.

In looking through some of my archives to see what might be a good one to post today, I found the one below. It reminded me of the special people in my life, and the fact that I want to take time, every day, to focus on them,

and pay attention with my whole heart,

and ignore the clock...

____________


Last Saturday, when my daughter and I were out running errands, she climbed into the front of the car and, with a huge smile on her face, stood up through the sunroof. “I’ve always wanted to do this!” she shouted, reaching her hands to the sky.

Even though we weren’t moving (we were parked in front of a store), she was having a blast.

“This is so fun!” she laughed.

And that’s how our whole morning went.

She and I had started out earlier to run errands...

I had my list of things to do and was looking forward to being productive.

But a few minutes after leaving the house, as we neared the Starbucks around the corner, a thought came to me…

Three times last week, my daughter asked me if we could get a hot chocolate together.

Three times I said no.

It was, “We have to get to basketball,” and “We have to get to swim team,” and “We can’t, or we’ll be late for cheer.”

As I thought about that, I wanted to make this day different. Our schedule was wide open, and I wanted to make the most of it.

I smiled and looked in the rear-view mirror. “Want to go to Starbucks? Just us girls?”

Her eyes got wide. “Sure!”

We sat at a table outside.

As we ate, we sprinkled crumbs on the ground and watched the birds.

We talked…

About how she felt about going into fourth grade.

And what her favorite thing about the summer was.

We saw a dog that reminded her of our dog Lady (who died a couple months ago), and we talked about God and Heaven.

We must’ve sat there for an hour, but I’m not sure.

I never checked the time.

After Starbucks, we headed to Linens-N-Things, where, halfway through the store, my daughter discovered the massage chairs.

“Mommy! We have to try these!”

She plopped into one of the chairs and pushed the Demo button. She laughed as the mechanical rollers went up and down her back.

I have to admit, normally, I’d watch her for a few minutes and then hurry her along.

But instead, I plopped into the chair next to her and smiled. “All right. How do you turn this thing on?”

We sat there for a long time, laughing and “oohing” and “ahhhing” through our massages.

We even got a few stares from people walking by.

Which made us laugh harder.

The next stop—a gift store—was just as fun. We held hands and browsed the aisles, taking our time.

And in our browsing, we found something that we never would’ve spotted had we been doing errands my way, at full speed. On a bottom shelf, tucked in the corner, was a box of large magnifying glasses--the exact size magnifying glass my son has been wanting for weeks.

It’s wonderful the things you discover when you’re not in a hurry.

And it’s amazing the quality time that can be created, simply by ignoring the clock.

When you think about it, my daughter and I didn’t do anything “special” on Saturday.

But, really, we did.

In the midst of ordinary things, we had an extraordinary time together.

And I was reminded that I don’t have to make grand plans to create special memories with my kids.

I just need to focus on them.

And slow down.

And ignore the clock.

“We should make this a tradition,” my daughter said after we finished our errands and headed home that day.

“We should,” I agreed.

And spending time like that may just end up being our best tradition ever.

____________________

Have a beautiful Thanksgiving with your family and friends. May you all enjoy some great quality time together!

Talk soon,

Creating a family tradition with the Red Plate...

Welcome to Mom-Monday! I'm glad you're here.

With the holidays around the corner, I've been thinking about traditions.

Whether it's making Christmas cookies every year with my kids, drinking hot chocolate while we decorate the tree, going for late walks in the fog to look at Christmas lights, or letting the kids open a present the week before Christmas, I love doing things that make our family our family.

Things that we look forward to every year.

Which is why I'm posting this again from my archives.

If you don't have a Red Plate, I highly recommend getting one (or something like it). It's an easy way to start a family tradition that is meaningful and lasting...


______


Years ago, my mother-in-law gave us this beautiful red plate as a gift.

Apparently, among some early American families, when someone deserved special acknowledgement, it was tradition to serve them dinner on The Red Plate.

I loved the idea and, right away, Mike and I started using the plate for birthdays.

Then one time I decided to set it out when he got a promotion so we could celebrate.

And on Father’s Day.

And on our anniversary.

When our kids were no longer babies, we started using The Red Plate for them too… for birthdays...preschool graduations...the first day of school.

This year, on Mike’s birthday, the kids and I surprised him and set his place for breakfast before he came downstairs.

My daughter got a nice placemat, my son climbed up on the counter and got one of our fancy water glasses , and I set out the good silverware.

“Get The Red Plate, Mommy!” they reminded me.

They were excited.

Because, for them, the plate doesn’t just represent something to eat on. It represents tradition.

And making someone feel special.

And family memories.

We even have two Red Plates now--one for our son, and one for our daughter.

So that, many years from now, when our kids move out, I’ll be able to pack those plates up, wrap them securely in tissue, and send one off with each of them.

And when I do, I’ll probably cry, remembering all the times we’ve used the plates, and all the memories they represent.

But mostly, I think I’ll be happy, thinking about the day my kids might decide to unwrap the tissue and start building family traditions of their own. :)

________

What about you? Do you have a fun tradition in your family? I’d love to hear about it!

If you haven't already, leave your URL in the link list below so other moms can stop by your site. Just a simple way for moms to come alongside other moms.

The pink glove dance, garage sales, and more fun stuff...

1. Happy Friday, everyone! I hope you had a great week! Have you seen the pink glove dance? It had me laughing, crying, and thinking of one of my best friends Lisa and my mother-in-law Carolyn, who are both amazing women and breast cancer survivors. Take a minute to watch this, help inspire awareness, and help this hospital's video get 1 million hits. (If you can't view the video here, click here to watch it.) It will seriously brighten your day. I promise!





2. Have you heard of the Garage Sales Tracker? With things being financially hard for so many right now, this site looks like a great tool. It allows users to find and list local garage sales, and it also has a Flea market, Consignment Store, and Thrift Store directory. Check it out if you get a chance!


3. I'm over at Hearts at Home this week, so stop by if you have a minute. I'm also over at 5 Minutes for Faith talking about prayer vs. action. I'd love to see you there!


4. Everybody wants longevity, right? Stop by Kellie's site and watch this quick video to hear some key suggestions on being healthy and living longer. I especially love what the video says about attitude.


5. Along the lines of health, I'm so glad the gals at The Welcoming Kitchen stopped by and added their link on my Mom-Monday post. I loved discovering their site full of gluten-free, allergy-free recipes. They also have a new cookbook out that looks like a great resource: The Everything Guide About Cooking for Children with Autism.


6. As we get ready to celebrate Thanksgiving next week, here are some great tips for having a Thankful Thanksgiving. Because that's what it's all about, right?


7. Last, my kids are out of school next week, and Mike's taking some time off of work, so I'll be putting up some of my archives. If you're a new reader here (or even if you're not), I hope you enjoy! Even though I won't be doing Talkin' Thursdays on Thanksgiving, be sure to take photos of your Thanksgiving celebrations, because I want to read about them on 12/3!
Have a great weekend, everyone. Come back by for Mom-Monday!
For more 7 Quick Takes, be sure and stop by Jennifer's Conversion Diary.

8 Great Tricks for Parenting Toddlers...

Ah, toddlerhood! It's a time when kids test boundaries, and test their parents in the process. So how do moms and dads survive? Find some practical tips in my article over at Sacramento Parent Magazine.

I hope you have a great weekend, everyone!

See you back here for Mom-Monday!

Worms, The Biggest Loser, and other miscellaneous things from the week...

1. Happy Friday, everyone! I have to start off with sharing what my son brought home the other day...

There's no room for the squeamish in this house. :)


2. I also have to tell you that my friend Kristen (who made me one of my favorite necklaces) has some new designs out, one of which is very close to my heart...

Isn't it cute? Head on over to her site and check out more of her new stuff!


3. I've told you before about my daughter's cake decorations and how we love the Food Network channel. If you're the same way, you'll love this post by Amanda. Her Halloween fondant creations are too cute. (I've told her she needs to open up her own bakery. She's super talented; stop over there and see what I mean.)


4. A quick reminder about Talkin' About Thursdays. I'd love your help in spreading the word and joining in! I've got the schedule for November posted in my sidebar, so check it out and link up on Thursdays!


5. Did anyone else watch The Biggest Loser this week? I cried at Abby's story, but what an amazing woman to get back into life like she did. Don't you think?

6. Speaking of amazing women, I love how some of you have been contacting me about Mom-Mondays. If you have a mom-story you'd like to share, like Michelle did a couple of weeks ago, or if you know of an inspiring mom, send me an email. I'd love to hear from you.


7. So what are your plans this weekend? If you have kids, are they dressing up? My daughter is going to be a farmer (even though we're still looking for overalls!), and my son is going to be a Ninja (even though he cares more about the $2.00 plastic sword that goes with the costume than dressing up. Boys. :)


For more 7 Quick Takes, be sure and stop by Jennifer's Conversion Diary.

Have a great weekend, everyone. I'll see you back here for Mom-Monday!

Talkin' About Thursdays: My Favorite Fall Recipe

Welcome to Talkin' About Thursdays! Today we're talking about favorite Fall recipes...

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The recipe I'm sharing hasn't always been my favorite.

Because I didn't even know about it until a few weeks ago.

See, we have these great neighbors named Sam and Michelle (actually all our neighbors are great, but that's another post).

And a few weeks ago, I woke up sick. Really sick, which is strange for me because I hardly ever get sick to the point where I have to cancel things and stay home.

When Sam found out I was sick, he offered to bring over some soup that he was was making for Michelle and their girls that night.

It was magic soup, he said. (Well, not really, but he did swear by it, saying that any time someone who is sick eats it, they feel better the next day.)

Of course I accepted his offer.

And not only did I feel better the next day, I found my new favorite Fall recipe.

The soup was delicious. I mean delicious. My daughter loved it so much, she even ate leftovers for breakfast the next morning.





The picture doesn't do it justice. My camera isn't that great, and my photography skills are even worse.
But trust me. This is a soup you want to make on a cozy Fall night. Especially if you aren't feeling well.
No surprise, I asked for the recipe.
Here's what Sam sent:
Greek Chicken, Lemon, and Orzo Soup

Ingredients:
1 cup chopped yellow onion
1 tsp olive oil
4 garlic cloves pressed
1 tsp dried oregano
1 32 oz carton chicken broth
1 cup water
½ tsp black pepper
1/3 cup of uncooked orzo
1+1/2 cups cooked diced chicken
1 cup chopped zucchini
1 TBS lemon juice-fresh squeezed
½ block of feta cheese (3-4 oz) crumbled for soup
Fresh snipped parsley for garnish

Preparation:

-Heat oil in 3 qt sauce pan over med heat until hot.
-Add onion, garlic, and oregano. Cook and stir for 3 minutes.
-Add broth, water, and black pepper and bring to a boil.
-Stir in orzo; cook stirring occasionally for 8 minutes or until orzo is tender.

-Meanwhile, dice up the chicken (I use chicken breast and if you have the chicken cooked up in advance you can save loads of time on this recipe).
-Chop the zucchini into 1 inch spears, then add to the broth, cooking for only one minute.
-Remove from heat and stir in the lemon juice.
-Ladle soup into bowls sprinkle with 2 TBS of Feta cheese and parsley garnish, if desired. (If you really want to push the Greek theme, serve this soup with Baked Pita Chips.)
·Notes and variations: I typically double or triple a soup recipe for multiple meals or guests dining. I always bolster garlic and lemon juice with this recipe. Feel free to experiment with your own preferences. Enjoy!
·Final note, if you or a family member is ailing, the trick to a speedy recovery is to have this soup with one glass of red wine. Supposedly the synergistic effects are the cure-all. It has worked for me before.


Want to join the conversation? Write your own Fall recipe post, link back here (you can copy my button at the top of this post if you want), then come back and enter the URL in the link list.
Don't forget to read and comment on each other's posts, too.



I look forward to hearing about the Fall recipes you're Talkin' About! :)

Talkin' About Thursdays: A sure way to make laundry (seem) easier...

Welcome to Talkin' About Thursdays! Today we're talking about laundry...

I wish my laundry looked like that picture--all stacked neatly in a pretty little basket. But, actually, it looks like this after it's folded...



...many piles taking up an entire corner of the hallway outside the laundry room upstairs.

No matter how hard we try to do a load every day, inevitably, we go in spurts depending on our schedule--no laundry for a few days, then five or six loads to catch up.

Even the sink in the laundry room, which I love having so I can spot-treat clothes, ends up being a catch-all storage bin for dirty towels and washcloths as the days go by.

But even if I can't offer ingenious advice about staying on top of your laundry or making it seem less constant, I can hopefully encourage you.

Because I think after you read the list below, it won’t seem so bad.

Laundry might even start to look easy.

Almost fun.

I shared this list a while ago, after Mike and I had gone away without the kids for the weekend. One of the stops on our trip was a museum at an old winery in California.

In the museum, there was a washtub with a note next to it. It was a re-typed list from a mother to a daughter written sometime around the turn of the twentieth century, describing how to do the family laundry.

All in 10 simple steps.

Read on…

Wash on Monday:

1. Build a fire in the backyard to heat kettle of rainwater.

2. Set tub so smoke will not blow in your eyes if wind is present.

3. Shave a whole cake of lye soap in the boiling water.

4. Sort clothes in three piles—one of white clothes, one of colored, and one of rags and britches.

5. Stir flour in cold water until smooth, then thin down with boiling water to make starch.

6. Rub dirty spots on the board, then boil them. Rub colored clothes, but do not boil. Take white things out of kettle with broom handle, then rinse, blue, and starch.

7. Hang clothes on line except tea towels, which should be spread on the grass. Hang old rags on the fence.

8. Pour rinse water in flower beds.

9. Scrub privy seat and floor with soapy water.

10. Turn tubs upside down. Put on a clean dress, comb hair. Make a cup of tea to drink while you sit and rest a spell, and count your blessings.

* list used with permission from the Sobon Estate


I don’t know about you, but after reading that, I'm counting my blessings for sure!

Want to join in the conversation? Write your own laundry post, link back here (you can copy my button below if you want), then come back and enter the URL of your post in the link list. Feel free to chime in by commenting too, and don't forget to read and comment on each other's posts. :)

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I look forward to reading what all of you are Talkin' About! :)

Five Ways to Get Your Kids Exercising

Welcome to Mom-Monday! I'm glad you're here.

As moms, we want to do whatever we can to give our kids an opportunity to have a healthy, productive life. We save for their college educations. We take them for regular doctor appointments. We try to make sure they eat the right foods.

But what about exercise? Is it part of our kids’ daily lives?
Not only are kids who exercise regularly less likely to become overweight, they also have less of a risk of developing type 2 diabetes and have lower blood pressure and cholesterol levels than kids who are inactive. In addition, studies show that they sleep better and handle physical and emotional stress more easily.

And here’s a key thing for us moms to consider: the exercise habits our kids form when they are young will likely be the ones they’ll carry with them into adulthood.

So how can we help our kids to get moving?

1. Limit TV. Any mom knows that TV can make kids sluggish and cranky. So turn the screen off. According to the Kaiser Family Foundation, kids under the age of 6 watch an average of 2 hours of TV a day, while kids and teens from 8 – 18 years spend almost 4 hours a day watching TV and almost 2 additional hours playing video games or spending time on the computer. Set limits on the amount of TV time allowed in your house. Find what works for your family and create a schedule for no TV on weekdays or weekends. The time freed up will open doors for other activities and a change of scenery can go a long way in turning that sluggishness around.


2. Get up and out. If your kids are young, be intentional about taking them outside regularly. Take advantage of local parks and nature trails. Climbing on a play set and swinging from the monkey bars can be great exercise for young kids. If yours are older, plan a hike and have them invite a friend. Or get them a new football or Frisbee and toss the first throw. Find out what sports or activities your kids enjoy and sign them up. Look into your city's Parks and Recreation department and see what classes or teams are offered. Have your kids try a variety of activities until they find one or two that they love.


3. Drive less. Is your kids’ school within walking distance? What about their friend’s houses? If you have young children, walk with them instead of driving. Leave the stroller at home, and leave the house early so you have time to stop and let them look at bugs or smell the flowers without being late. If your kids are older, add something they might consider fun. Walk to the movie rental store and let them pick out the movie or video game. Ride bikes to soccer practice and have them lead the way. They may not be enthused about the idea at first, but your example can be contagious. And it’s good for the environment too.


4. Make it fun. Create opportunities for exercise to be fun. Come up with a contest and join in. Who can do the most pushups in a minute? Who can swim the fastest lap in the pool? Race your kids to the mailbox. Or have them race each other. My kids love it when I judge their cannon balls, rating them from 1 to 10. They’ll keep jumping in and out of the pool until I tell them to stop. When kids are focused on a goal or trying to win, especially if they’re trying to beat their parents, exercise can be twice as fun.


5. Set an example. Maybe the most important thing we moms can do to encourage our kids to be active is to be active in our own lives. Make exercise a priority, even if you can only fit a ten minute walk or a thirty minute exercise video into your day. It will go a long way in reducing the stress that often comes with parenting. And don’t go overboard or burn yourself out. Our kids pick up on our attitudes, so simply make exercise a positive part of your routine. Invite your kids to go bike riding or play tennis. Bring them to the gym with you. Go for an evening walk. Kids learn more from what we do than what we say, and a child who grows up seeing his or her mom or dad living actively will most likely follow in those footsteps.

Or should I say running shoes?


______


**I recently wrote the article above for a magazine and soon after, saw a post over at my friend Kellie's called, "Why Do You Want to be Healthy?" In it, she shared some of her personal reasons and I wanted to share a couple of them with you. I think they are a powerful reminder of the opportunity we as parents have to give our kids a positive example of health.

"Health is responsibility. My mother died at age 59 – far too early for my taste. She lived a life of ill-health, most of which was by her choice. I choose life. I choose responsibility. I choose my golden days to be spent with my children, grandchildren, and even my great grandchildren.

Health is legacy. The example you by live has an impact on every one around you. Your actions speak to your world, and your DNA is passed along to your offspring. The health footprint you leave is your legacy that will live longer than you will."

So what about you? How do you fit exercise into your busy day, or what are the challenges you've faced in trying to do this? What are some of your kids' favorite activities? Do you have best practices you can share with other moms? I look forward to hearing your tips and thoughts. :)

If you haven't already, leave your URL in the link list below, so other moms can stop by your site and say hi on Mom-Mondays. It's a simple way for moms to come alongside other moms!

While I'm writing about potty-training and naps...

Things will be a little sparse around here for the next few days. I'm writing an article for a parenting magazine that's due next week, and I've also got a lot of meetings scheduled for the publishing company I work part-time for.

So...

I'll miss joining Angie in her "Wordful" Wednesdays and Janice and Susan in their Wordless Wednesdays. But I'll be back at it next week.

The article I'm writing is about parenting toddlers--tips on things like potty-training and naps. You might've seen my tweet looking for tips or tricks. In fact, if you have anything that works (or worked) particularly well for your toddlers, be sure to leave a comment, and I just might use it in my article.

I'm also blogging at Mamapedia and Hearts at Home on Wednesday, and 5MinutesforFaith on Friday, so stop by if you have a minute.

On a different note: I've been having problems with my RSS feed and email notifications going out. If you're subscribed to my blog and haven't been getting regular updates (or any at all), I apologize. I'm trying to figure out what the problem is and will hopefully have it fixed soon.

Have a great week, everyone! And don't forget to stop back by on Mom-Monday. I'll be sharing information about kids and exercise and would love to have you chime in.

Talk soon,

Showing your kids you love them: It's How You Say Hello

Welcome to Mom-Monday (vol. 9).

I'm glad you're here!



I've been travelling again this week, so I'm putting up a previous post about showing your kids how much you love them.

Sometimes, that can be as simple as how you say hello.



It's How You Say Hello...

The other day I took my kids to the gym with me. When I went to pick them up from the play area after I’d finished working out, I passed the window to the room that they were in.

My daughter saw me through the glass, jumped up, and waved.

And when I opened the door, she was standing at the front desk, smiling. “Mommy!” she said, hugging me tight.

I’d only been “gone” for an hour, but by the way she acted, you’d guess it had been a week.

Her sweet greeting seriously melted my heart. And it made me think...

How do I say hello to her?

I thought about the morning before, when I woke her up with a quick kiss on the forehead, then launched into a very rushed, “Don’t take too long getting ready because it’s our day to carpool. And you need to clean your room before we leave. It looks like a tornado came through here.”

I thought about when I’d picked my kids up from school that day, too. We’d walked through the park, passing others who were playing on the swings and buying ice-cream from the ice-cream truck. I shuffled my kids along, reminding them to hurry because we had to get to basketball. I barely registered their disappointed faces when I told them we didn’t have time for ice-cream.

And now I’m thinking I need to be more aware of this greeting thing.

Because I want to make sure when I say hi to my kids, or to my husband, or to anyone, I’m doing it in a way that really acknowledges them. And I want to give the kind of greeting that focuses on that moment, not all of the things on the schedule ahead.

I truly appreciated how my daughter made me feel that day at the gym. And I appreciated the reminder to slow down and take the time to make my kids feel special.

Because I want them to know how much I love them.

With every single hello.



What do you think? Do you find yourself getting caught up in the schedule, forgetting how your interactions with your kids make them feel? What are some of the things you do to let your kids know how much you love them?


If you haven't already, leave your URL in the link list below, so other moms can stop by your site and say hi. It's a simple way for moms to come alongside other moms.

Six Suggestions to Stop Sibling Squabbles

Welcome to Mom-Monday (Vol. 6).

I'm glad you're here!

(*Giveaway winners are listed at the end of this post.)


Any mom with two or more kids has seen sibling squabbles...from the toy snatching of toddlers to the bickering of older kids. And even though these interactions between sisters and brothers are inevitable, they can sometimes be hard to deal with.

But with a little discipline and consistency, they can also be stopped.

Here are six suggestions I've found effective:
1. Get involved. Rather than yelling at your kids to stop fighting, or hiding in the other room and pretending not to hear :), kneel down with them and talk about why they're arguing. Help them to learn to problem solve. Did one of them snatch a toy from the other? Teach that child to learn to ask for the toy or wait his or her turn. Or maybe the other child needs to learn to share more. If your kids are older, have them consider how the other person is feeling. And help them to see both sides of an argument. I've found that, many times, the squabbles my kids have gotten into are excellent opportunities for character building.

2. Create space. If your kids are really young, the whole "talking about it" thing might not work so well. If this is the case, separating them when they're fighting might be your best bet. You can still take the opportunity to tell them things like they shouldn't be snatching, but after you do, have your kids go to separate rooms for a while. Sometimes, giving them space is all it takes to cool things down.

3. Get positive. If your kids are fighting, have them stop and give each other a compliment (if they're old enough to do this). Or have them make each other a card. Even though they might start out through scrunched-up faces and frowns, by the time they're done saying or writing something nice about each other, you'll be amazed at the smiles that will sneak out. Compliments can go a long way in diffusing a fight.

4. Get loving. I stole this idea from a friend of mine: Tell your kids if they don't stop fighting, they're going to have to give each other a big hug. And if they don't stop, have them do it. When I've taken this approach, it's resulted in my kids getting silly and laughing--and pretty soon, they aren't fighting at all.

5. Put them to work. Have your kids clean a room or do something like empty the dishwasher. It will take their minds off of arguing and help them to be productive. The other day, when my son and daughter (ages 8 and 10) were bickering, I gave them a warning and told them if they didn't stop, they'd have to vacummn the entire upstairs. They didn't stop. So they ended up vacumming. And by the time they were done, they'd forgotten all about being mad at each other. They probably wouldn't admit it, but I think they even had fun. And the house looked better, too.

6. Don't listen to tattling. I think it only encourages more tattling, and it pits your kids against each other. When they come to you tattling, have them work it out themselves. Encourage them to stick up for each other, rather than set out to get each other in trouble. The rule we have in our house is, unless it's is an emergency or a safety issue, they can't tattle about it.

So the next time your kids are squabbling, take heart. If one approach doesn't work the first time, try another. And remember there will be many moments of sweetness in between all the bickering. :)

So what about you? Have you tried any of these suggestions in the past? How have they worked? Do you have any other ideas or "sibling squabble" stories to share?


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Congratulations to the winners of last week's CD giveaway:

Kristin from Bits and Pieces From My Life, Anti-Supermom, and JennyMac. Please email me your address this week so I can forward it to Christy Nockels. You'll love her CD.

And a last note: if you haven't done so already, please enter your link below to "meet" other moms. Stop by a few sites listed each Mom-Monday and say hi to each other. :)

An Easy Way to Make Cookies Healthier

I've mentioned before that I love to bake. In fact, you can usually find a fresh batch of cookies or brownies around our house at all times.

We love sweets.

But that's okay.

Because, a while ago, I tried something with my cookie recipe that really works.

I use 1/2 cup of butter instead of one,

egg whites instead of whole eggs,

rice flour instead of white flour,

1 1/2 cups of chocolate chips instead of two,

and all organic ingredients.

Even though the cookies are healthier (less fat, less cholesterol, less sugar, and the rice flour is gluten-free), they taste great. The texture is a little different because of the rice flour, but even my kids love them and believe me, they can be picky eaters.

I could be biased, but I don't think you can even tell that the cookies are "healthy"...



And since I just baked some, I thought I'd join Kristen in What Works for Me Wednesday and share the recipe, because these cookies really work for my family.
In fact, I baked three sheets of them Monday night and now there are only eight cookies left.
Oh, wait.
Maybe eating the whole batch in two days cancels out the fact that they are healthier.
(At least I'm pretty sure you'll like them!)

(Healthier) Chocolate Chip Cookies

1/2 cup butter
2 egg whites
1 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 tsp salt

*whip these ingredients together in your mixer until creamy then add:

1 tsp baking soda
2 1/4 cups rice flour
1 1/2 cups chocolate chips

Spoon dough on cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees for about 6-7 minutes.

Give them a try. They even satisfy chocolate cravings. :)

Quick note: If you haven't entered my giveaway from Monday, there's still time! Click here or scroll down to the post before this for details.

What I've Learned...

Thank you to everyone who participated in My One Month! I loved reading all your posts and comments, and I was inspired by your stories and what you shared.

By the end of this week, I’ll select one (or more) post to put up here for a little while. I’ll also forward the post(s) to the authors of One Month to Live for consideration to use on their website. If you haven't had a chance to read some of the "One Month" stories that people have written, take a few minutes to check them out here. You won't be disappointed.

It's been an awesome, put-it-all-in-perspective month for me. I've learned so many things...

I’ve learned to worry less and pray more.

I’ve learned, when my daughter says, “I want a long hug, Mommy,” to hold on until she lets go. Even if it’s late at night. Or even if I’m in a hurry.

I’ve learned to have more fun.

And say yes more often.

I’ve learned, as a parent, that even though I’ll make plenty of mistakes, the only thing that really matters is if my kids know, at the end of each day, how much I love them.

I’ve learned how much peace my faith brings me.

And I’ve learned how much my relationships with my family and friends matter.

I’ve learned to take more risks.

And doubt myself less.

And I’ve learned to let things like the laundry sit there, undone, while my kids and I read together, or play a game, or go outside.

Even though it sounds ironic, in the middle of one of the busiest months ever--with a new position and writing deadlines and a full schedule--I’ve learned to be more disciplined about taking time for myself and others. And prioritizing.

It’s been a month of focus and change for me. And even though I definitely don’t "have it all figured out”, I’m thankful for the way this month—and the way this book—has affected me.

Because I don’t think a day will go by from now on where I won’t stop and ask myself, “If I really had one month to live...?”

And if I can continue to look at relationships, decisions, and priorities from a “One Month” perspective, then I know, no matter how many months I have left of this life I’ve been given, I won’t have any regrets when it's over. :)

A Fun Way to Slow Down as a Family...

In today’s fast-paced world, it can be especially challenging to set aside quality family time. Wouldn't it be great if you could push a pause button on the clock and create more time with the ones you love?

Looking at old pictures together, or watching home videos or DVD’s, can help you do just that.

There's something about taking the time to reflect on the past that helps you to slow down and forget about your to-do list.

Remembering birthdays, holidays, and vacations spent with family and friends can put your focus back on what really matters and give you a new appreciation for the special moments you've shared.

My kids and I did this just the other day. It was such a sweet thing to watch a video of my son, back when he was two, singing a Veggie Tales song into the camera. And it made me smile when my daughter turned to him and said, as she watched too, “Look how cute you are!”

We must’ve sat there for an hour “Awwwing” at all the memories we've shared. And when we were done, I was more thankful than ever for our special times together--including the time we'd just spent watching them.

So the next time you feel overwhelmed by the how fast time is flying or how busy you are, pull your kids up next to you on the couch, pop in a DVD from when they were younger, or get out those old photo albums or CDs, and take a walk down memory lane. Not only can it help you slow down as a family and appreciate each other more, it can also create a slice of quality time well spent.

*Originally written for Beautiful Fabulous online magazine.


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I thought I'd share this article today and join in Rocks in My Dryer's works-for-me Wednesday because, especially as I continue with My One Month, spending more quality time with my family is definitely something that works for me! :)


From the book One Month to Live:

"People who discover that their time is limited often make radical lifestyle changes. They give up workaholism and slow down the pace of their lives, spending time with loved ones, with God, and alone, reflecting on their lives. They relinquish the pursuit and collection of material possessions and finally enjoy the fullness of what they already have."

There's a Moose in Our House

And there's this, too...




A big, round, pink-igloo fort that my kids made out of umbrellas.

And when they asked if they could leave it up for “a little while”, I let them...

in the front room of the house,

the first room you see when you walk in the door,

in spite of the fact that "a little while" turned into a week,

and friends and neighbors even stopped by.

Because you know what?

I'm learning that the house doesn’t always have to be matchy-matchy and perfect. In fact, it’s a whole lot more fun when you have a pink igloo in the front room. It makes for some good conversation.

But, back to the moose.

There is one in our house.

The game, that is.






And we’ve been playing it a lot lately.

Because with this whole “One Month” thing, I’ve been trying to create more fun moments. Moments like swimming in our socks and sitting in massage chairs.

Moments that are unforgettable.

It’s been a blast.

The other day, my son and I fenced with Star Wars light sabers until we were sweaty. I learned some pretty smooth moves and ended up getting a good workout, too.

And remember when I told you my daughter stood up through the sunroof of our car when we were parked in the parking lot?

Well, I’m proud to say I've officially let loose. A couple of weeks ago, I drove home from the mailbox at the end of our court with her standing through the sunroof. Drove. With the car moving. You should've seen the smile on her face.

And speaking of smiling, I had a lot of fun doing that at the gym the other day…

As I rode the exercise bike, instead of burying my head in a book like I usually do, I decided I'd smile and say hi to every person who turned the corner. It was fun to see the look of surprise on so many faces, and to get so many smiles back.

And through all of this, I’m learning more and more that having fun each day—having fun in life for that matter—is so much about just making it happen.

That’s something I plan to do a whole lot more of. :)

What Really Matters?

All you have to do is watch the news for a few minutes to be reminded of the difficulties that many people around the world are facing right now. And with everything that's going on, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed or discouraged.

Which is why I wanted to take a minute to share this quote from the book One Month to Live:

"When all is said and done, relationships are all that really matter. It doesn't matter how much money we have, where we live, or how many beautiful toys we've collected. None of these can comfort us, console us, cry with us, or love us. Our investment in the people we care about is the only legacy that has the power to endure beyond our lifetime."

I'm thankful for the reminder about what really matters. And I'm thankful for the inspiration I've gotten from many of you who've joined me in "My One Month".

I loved hearing from Joyful, who commented on one of my posts and said, "This past week has been special for me, as I've embraced all of life and said 'yes' to impromptu opportunities." She also reminded me about Tim McGraw's song, "Live Like You Were Dying". It talks about making the most of your time, and is definitely worth a listen...




Ronel at Mommy Accountability has taken "My One Month" a step further and is posting about it almost daily. She recently commented, "If I were to leave today, I know my son would remember the last three days for the rest of his life. We took time as a family this weekend instead of getting wrapped up in running errands and cleaning the house. I finally realized the time I took to teach my son new things was worth more than me taking time to get a pedicure. Life is so short that we need to stop focusing on the things we can't take with us and start focusing on the values, beliefs and memories we will leave behind."

Thanks for sharing, Ronel! I've been having a lot of fun with my kids lately too, but I'll tell you about that in my next post.

And here's something else that inspired me:

Even though Wendi at Everyday Miracles didn't write this post as a part of "My One Month", I think it fits perfectly. I love the way she describes "the journey" and the choices she made.

If you want more inspiration, you can click to find links to all the great posts that have been written so far for"My One Month". If you haven't commented and shared your thoughts yet, don't leave today without doing that. I know there are a lot of "silent visitors" out there and I'd love to hear from you. How has thinking about all of this affected you? Have you made any decisions or changes as a result?

And whether or not you're participating, let's all take time today to look for someone who may need a helping hand, a phone call, or a visit. You might be the very one who can keep that person from feeling hopeless and give them the encouragement they need during hard times.

"The measure of a life, after all, is not its duration, but its donation." --Corrie Ten Boom

Making Each Moment Count...

Looking at life from a "One Month" perspective has really made me think about the decisions I make every day. And I’m realizing more and more that it’s often the littlest choices that can have the greatest impact.

Like the other night with my son...

It had been a busy night and my husband was working late. I'd been rushing around making an early dinner and helping the kids with their homework before heading off to take my daughter to cheer practice.

On the way home from dropping her off, I looked at the time and sighed. It was already 7:30pm and I still had a lot to do…

“Mom?” my son asked as we drove into our neighborhood. “Since it’s just you and me, can we go for a walk when we get home?”

I looked at the darkening sky. It was a school night, and he still had to take a shower and finish his reading homework and…

I was about to say no.

But then I stopped and thought, If I really had one month to live, would I pass this up?

It’s not often that my son and I go for walks together, just the two of us.

So I changed my mind.

“Sure,” I told him.

As we headed out, there was only a faint line of sunlight left on the horizon. The neighborhood was quiet and the air was warm. It was beautiful.

My son looked up at me and smiled. “Thanks for saying yes about the walk, Mom. I thought for sure you were gonna say no.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and smiled back. "You're welcome."

And I thought, how many times do I miss opportunities like this and not even realize it?

We headed across the park to the school playground. “C’mon!” he called, running ahead of me, “Let’s find a ball!” (There are usually one or two left over from the school day.) A couple of sprinklers were running and the grass was soaked. He ran across it anyway.

Not the grass, I groaned inside. It’s wet…

But I kept my mouth shut. Because if this was my last month, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t care if he got muddy.

“Look!” he called a few seconds later, proudly pulling a ball out of the bushes. He splashed back across the grass, beaming. “I’m gonna teach you how to play wall ball, Mom.”

He served the ball hard, sending it sailing. It hit the wall and bounced back toward me.

Let me just say that, as someone who usually closes my eyes when a ball is flying at me (and hopes it lands elsewhere) it took a little effort to jump in and hit that wet thing and act like I was having fun.

But that’s what I did.

And before I knew it, I was having fun.

Back and forth, we played. Our wrists and arms (and my t-shirt) got filthy. But I didn’t care. What I cared about was the smile on my son’s face. And the sound of his laughing.

After a few minutes, he stopped and held the ball on his hip. “Okay, Mom. Now I’m gonna teach you my specialties,” he said. I never knew that there were so many different kinds of serves in wall ball. Or that hitting the ball up over the wall is called a tree-top.

By the end of the night, I felt like a pro. And I might’ve even impressed my son a little because when we were done, he asked, “Did you play this when you were a kid?”

We had a great time together, and I'll never forget it.

I hope he doesn’t either.

And even though he ended up getting to bed late that night, and he was tired the next day, it was worth it.

I’ve already decided that the next time either of my kids asks me to go for a spur-of-the-moment-walk, I’m going to say yes without a second thought.

And who knows, maybe I’ll even surprise them and ask them first.


From the book One Month to Live:

“Time once spent cannot be reclaimed. Once an hour, minute, or moment is over, it’s gone forever. However, we can redeem the remaining time we have.”

And a quote by Diane Ackerman… “I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.”


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Congratulations to the winners of the autographed copies of One Month to Live! They are: comment #7: Sandy Toes at Shell In Your Pocket and comment #16: Laura at Storytellin' Mama. Email me with your address so I can have the books sent your way!

Thanks to all of you who commented and who are participating in "My One Month". If you haven't joined in yet, you can at any time. I look forward to reading more posts and comments!

Laughing and wedgies and something about Monday...

I heard on the radio recently that adults laugh an average of 15 times a day, while kids laugh an average of 400 times a day. And while this makes me happy that kids are having so much fun, it makes me sad that maybe us adults aren't.

So I thought I'd share a comment I got from Mandy, at Discursively Happy, since it had me literally cracking up. In response to my post about the red balloon in my kitchen, Mandy said...

That is funny! I have a fear of helium balloons because one night I was getting ready for bed and all the lights were out and I saw what looked like a head a little shorter than me and I thought it was my son so I started talking to him and there wasn't any response so I started to panic and reach for the light with trembling hands just to see one of the kids' helium balloons floating in mid-air. It has freaked me out enough that I don't allow balloons at my house after dark. Crazy huh!

Thanks for the laugh, Mandy! I loved it!

And here's another thing that cracked me up...

I was driving to Target with my son yesterday, and he was reading a book in the back seat.

I looked in the rear-view mirror and smiled. "I'm so glad you like reading,” I told him.

“Yeah," he looked up and smiled back. "This is the kind of book for me, Mom. It’s all about wedgies and underpants and stuff. Captain Underpants is probably going to be my specialty.”

Laughter is such good medicine, isn't it?

And here are a few other good things...

Does anyone like jewelry? Kristen at Kristen's Custom Creations designs the most creative and beautiful pieces. I bought this necklace from her not too long ago and hardly ever take it off...



(In fact, if you read my post "Funny How Things Happen", you can see the necklace in the picture.) Kristen has a blog too, so pop on by and tell her hi.

While I'm on the subject of great gals, I want to thank Stephanie at Metropolitan Mama for her mention in Tuesday Tours. If you haven't had a chance to stop by Stephanie's site, make sure you do. She always has valuable information and insights, and her Tuesday Tours are a great way to see what's happening on the web.

And here's another blogging resource that I think is awesome: ProgBlogger. I subscribe to his feed and am always impressed with the quality of tips and information that he shares.

On a different topic, I have to let you know that I love change. So if you see some color or background changes around here, it's just me having fun. I've learned just enough (thanks to Shera at Sweet N Simple Designs, who is wonderful, and who works closely with the people she designs sites for) to be able to make a few modifications to my blog. And since I’m one of those people who gets excited about moving furniture around just to see it in a different spot, you may notice some changes here, depending on the season. Or the weather. Or maybe even my mood. :)

Last, BUT NOT LEAST, I'm launching something that I'm really excited about on Monday, so be sure to stop by and check it out.

Happy weekend, everyone!

Five Gift Giving Ideas for Any Time of Year

Everybody likes to get gifts, but it can be even more fun when you are the one doing the giving.

Here are five ideas that can help you to make someone else's day, any time of year:

1. Make it a surprise. Don’t just give gifts on holidays, birthdays, or anniversaries. Surprise your husband with a framed portrait of you and the kids…just because. Or buy your sister a bag of her favorite coffee the next time you’re getting a mocha. Sometimes when gifts are given “out of the blue” they have the most impact.

2. Make it homemade. Who doesn’t love something that’s been made just for them? Putting time, thought, and effort into making a gift can say a lot to the person you're giving it to. And sites like this can provide some easy homemade gift ideas.

3. Make it personal. Personalization can add an extra touch to any item, whether it's a blanket, a jewelry box, or a bracelet. You can find a variety of personalized products at places like this.

4. Make it unique. Everybody loves the not-so-common gift. And sites like this have some really fun and unique ideas.

5. Make a difference. Give a gift that helps others. One of the most meaningful gifts I ever got was from a friend who donated a goat to a family in Africa in my name. Visit organizations like this to see how you can honor someone in your life by giving donations to needy families around the world in their name.

And when you make a difference, not only in the life of someone you love, but in the lives of others, that may end up being the greatest gift of all.

*originally written for / posted at Beautiful Fabulous online magazine.


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Since the holidays are right around the corner (can you believe it?), let's share some ideas...

Do you have any fun suggestions for giving?

What's the most memorable gift you've been given?


p.s. I mentioned last week that I'm launching something around here soon. Just a quick update that I'm working on the final details and should have it ready in a week or two. I'm really looking forward to it!