Are you dreaming?

A couple of months ago, Mike went on a business trip to Scotland. He knew he'd have a lot of time to read on the plane, so he packed a handful of books.

But when he got home, there was one he couldn't stop talking about...

The Dream Manager by Matthew Kelly.

It completely energized him.

So much so that I had to read it too.

Not only did I love the book, but I felt like I wanted to tell everyone about it. It's a true story about a company that was turned around simply by helping its employees identify and reach their dreams.

But it's more than just a story. The book is a great reminder of what a difference having dreams and pursuing them can make in your life and the lives of others.

Especially as moms, I think it can be easy to set our dreams aside and slip into the mode of putting everyone else's needs ahead of our own.

Being a parent means sacrifice. We have an awesome responsibility to do the best job we can to love and raise our kids. Sometimes that does mean putting our dreams on hold for a while, and that's okay.

But it shouldn't mean giving up on them.

Or forgetting them altogether.

Everyone needs something to shoot for, even if you don't know right now what that might be.

Maybe your life's dream is to be a mom. I can relate to that; ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to have kids. I knew I wanted to stay home with them, too. And when our daughter was born, even though it meant giving up a great career and changing our lifestyle a bit, quitting my job and staying home was where my heart was.

But I had other dreams too.

I didn't realize it at the time, but making the decision to be a stay-at-home mom actually opened the door for me to rediscover what those dreams were.

Maybe you're at a stage where things are too crazy with babies and toddlers to imagine what else you'd want to do with your life if you had an extra minute.

Enjoy those little ones while they're little, because it goes fast.

Before you know it, the time will come when you will have a minute. Even more.

But if you're in a place--whether you're a parent or not--where you feel like you've lost touch with your dreams,

where you've forgotten what you're passionate about,

where you find yourself longing to do something with your life but you're not sure what...

Why not spend some time thinking about it?

One of the ideas in The Dream Manager that I loved is to start a dream journal and take a look at the different areas of your life--physical, emotional, spiritual, family, career, etc.--and identify how you want to grow.

Think back and remember: what did you love doing when you were a kid? What did you used to dream of becoming?

As parents, I think it's especially important to have dreams.

Because our dreams aren't just about us.

When our kids see us dreaming, they learn to dream too.

After we read The Dream Manager, Mike and I got our kids dream journals for Christmas. We wanted to encourage them to have dreams and support them in reaching them as much as we could.

We found the perfect journals, too. Here's the cover of our son's:

And here's our daughter's:

A few nights after we gave the journals to the kids, my daughter called me upstairs...

"Hey Mommy?" she asked, "When you come up, can you sit with me? Just bring my dream book and yourself. And that will be good."

And it was...

Sitting there with her and hearing her ten-year-old dreams (shared with her permission) was more than good. :)

What about you? What are your dreams? If you're a mom or a dad, how has parenthood changed or affected your dreams?


Thanks for stopping by for Mom-Monday! 

A home full of love...

I was listening to the radio in the car this morning when the DJ said, “If you’re feeling like you’re running behind this holiday season, maybe this will encourage you...”

My ears immediately perked up. (I’m still not even close to finishing my shopping .)

He played a recording of a woman who had called into the station earlier.

The woman shared that her son, a Marine stationed in Japan, is flying home to get married this Saturday. You could hear the excitement in her voice.

She went on to say that her other son, who is in the Army and scheduled to go to Afghanistan in the spring, got special permission to fly home for the wedding.

Her oldest daughter is coming home from Georgia, and her two college-age girls will be home too.

“And I haven’t bought a thing for Christmas yet!” the woman said.

“You can’t be worrying about Christmas,” the DJ joked, “you’ve got a wedding to plan for!”

“I know,” she laughed. “I’ve got a tree up, but there aren't any decorations on it and only half of the lights work. And I tried to put lights up outside, but none of the extension cords work either.” She laughed again.

And then she said…

“But you know what? I was at Wal-Mart this morning, looking for something festive to put on my front door for when everyone gets here, and I found the best wrapping paper. It said: A home filled with love is a home filled with Christmas. And that’s all that really matters.”

Here was a mom planning for a wedding this weekend, running behind in getting ready for Christmas, and gearing up to have all her kids home, and she was totally focused on what matters—being together.

It was a great reminder of what the holidays are really about.

So as we mail our packages and run our errands, as we get our presents bought and wrapped, as we pack for our trips and plan our menus,

may our hearts and homes be filled with love,

and Christmas. :)


I hope you all have a beautiful holiday! I'm looking forward to spending time with family and friends over the next week, but I'll be back around here after that.

Talk soon,

The lesson in the pet aisle at Target...

Welcome to Mom-Monday!

My daughter and I walked into Target and headed straight for the pet aisle.
She had around $40.00 left on a gift card she'd been saving, and she wanted to buy supplies for the kitten she was planning to adopt.
She made her choices carefully, picking out a scratching pole, cat food, litter, a scooper, a couple of kitten toys, and shampoo.

She added up each item as she put it into the cart, making sure the total would be under $40.00.

It was fun to watch, and I was proud of her for wanting to pay for everything herself.
When she was done, she said, "We need to go to Customer Service before we pay, Mommy. I want to check exactly how much I have on here." She held up the card with a big smile.

"Looks like you have $16.99," the woman at Customer Service said.

My daughter shook her head.
"I thought you had $40.00," I told her.

"I thought so too." Her face fell.

Everything in me wanted to come to her rescue.
I looked at all the things she'd so thoughtfully picked out--the kitten toys, the scratching pole, even the litter. She'd been saving money for months for a kitten, and she'd been holding onto that gift card specifically for supplies.

My heart broke as I saw the disappointment in her face.

And I debated...

Should I step in and help her pay? She'd been so responsible, and she could still pay for the kitten like she wanted to...

But something in me knew that wasn't the right thing to do.
She looked at me and shrugged. "Let's go, Mommy. I have to figure out what to put back."

She headed to the pet aisle again.

I followed with a lump in my throat.
She didn't even ask for me to pay for the supplies.

And, honestly, that made me want to help her even more.

Still, I kept quiet as I watched her look at the things in the cart, check the prices again, and try to decide what to take out.

She picked up a kitten toy and hugged it. "It's so cute," she said.

Then she put it on the shelf.
The scratching pole, shampoo, and cat food followed.

All that was left in the cart was the scooper and the litter, which added up to almost exactly $16.00.

"I'll save up for the other stuff and come back." She smiled.

And I almost started bawling right there.
Even though she'd run into a bump in the road, she worked through it.

By herself.

And as I watched her pay for that scooper and litter with her gift card, I realized she was just as happy and proud of herself as she would've been if she'd been able to buy everything she'd originally picked out.

That's when I knew, even though it was hard for me not to come to her rescue, and even though I almost did, I did the right thing by not helping her.

And I learned a valuable lesson.
Sometimes, I catch myself wanting to step in and make things easier for my kids.

It breaks my heart when they face adversity.

But I was reminded that it's often that very adversity that builds character.

If I had helped my daughter pay for those supplies, sure, I would've made things easier for her. But she would've missed out on the experience of working through the disappointment herself.

She would've missed out on saving more money and waiting to buy something she wanted.

And she would've missed out on the joy of going back to the store, days later, and buying the supplies all on her own.

Now, every time my daughter tells someone about her new kitten (which she has since adopted), the first thing she says is, "I paid for everything myself!"

And if I would've helped her that day, she would've missed out on that, too.
What about you? Do you find yourself wanting to rescue your kids when they hit a bump in the road? Do you have a time you can share where you've seen your kids grow by facing adversity or disappointment?

If you haven't already, leave your URL in the link list below so other moms can stop by your site.

Creating Quality Time by Ignoring the Clock...

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I'm feeling especially grateful this week, for so many things.

And I'm grateful for all of you, and the fact that you take the time to stop by here and read my words.

In looking through some of my archives to see what might be a good one to post today, I found the one below. It reminded me of the special people in my life, and the fact that I want to take time, every day, to focus on them,

and pay attention with my whole heart,

and ignore the clock...

____________


Last Saturday, when my daughter and I were out running errands, she climbed into the front of the car and, with a huge smile on her face, stood up through the sunroof. “I’ve always wanted to do this!” she shouted, reaching her hands to the sky.

Even though we weren’t moving (we were parked in front of a store), she was having a blast.

“This is so fun!” she laughed.

And that’s how our whole morning went.

She and I had started out earlier to run errands...

I had my list of things to do and was looking forward to being productive.

But a few minutes after leaving the house, as we neared the Starbucks around the corner, a thought came to me…

Three times last week, my daughter asked me if we could get a hot chocolate together.

Three times I said no.

It was, “We have to get to basketball,” and “We have to get to swim team,” and “We can’t, or we’ll be late for cheer.”

As I thought about that, I wanted to make this day different. Our schedule was wide open, and I wanted to make the most of it.

I smiled and looked in the rear-view mirror. “Want to go to Starbucks? Just us girls?”

Her eyes got wide. “Sure!”

We sat at a table outside.

As we ate, we sprinkled crumbs on the ground and watched the birds.

We talked…

About how she felt about going into fourth grade.

And what her favorite thing about the summer was.

We saw a dog that reminded her of our dog Lady (who died a couple months ago), and we talked about God and Heaven.

We must’ve sat there for an hour, but I’m not sure.

I never checked the time.

After Starbucks, we headed to Linens-N-Things, where, halfway through the store, my daughter discovered the massage chairs.

“Mommy! We have to try these!”

She plopped into one of the chairs and pushed the Demo button. She laughed as the mechanical rollers went up and down her back.

I have to admit, normally, I’d watch her for a few minutes and then hurry her along.

But instead, I plopped into the chair next to her and smiled. “All right. How do you turn this thing on?”

We sat there for a long time, laughing and “oohing” and “ahhhing” through our massages.

We even got a few stares from people walking by.

Which made us laugh harder.

The next stop—a gift store—was just as fun. We held hands and browsed the aisles, taking our time.

And in our browsing, we found something that we never would’ve spotted had we been doing errands my way, at full speed. On a bottom shelf, tucked in the corner, was a box of large magnifying glasses--the exact size magnifying glass my son has been wanting for weeks.

It’s wonderful the things you discover when you’re not in a hurry.

And it’s amazing the quality time that can be created, simply by ignoring the clock.

When you think about it, my daughter and I didn’t do anything “special” on Saturday.

But, really, we did.

In the midst of ordinary things, we had an extraordinary time together.

And I was reminded that I don’t have to make grand plans to create special memories with my kids.

I just need to focus on them.

And slow down.

And ignore the clock.

“We should make this a tradition,” my daughter said after we finished our errands and headed home that day.

“We should,” I agreed.

And spending time like that may just end up being our best tradition ever.

____________________

Have a beautiful Thanksgiving with your family and friends. May you all enjoy some great quality time together!

Talk soon,

Casts, cats, and making a difference...

1. Happy Friday, everyone! I hope you've had a great week! My daughter got her cast off recently...

She cracked me up when, on the way to the doctor's, she said, "I can't wait to see what's inside my cast, Mom! I ate a donut today and I just know I got some sprinkles in there!" Yikes.


2. Exciting news! The book I told you about is out. You can read more about it here and check out the book tour schedule here! Super fun stuff. I can't wait!


3. On a serious note, stop by Val's site to read about a five-year-old boy with cancer and help make a difference by sending him a Christmas card. This story seriously tugged at my heart, and I was so proud of my kids for making cards for Noah after I told them about him.

I hope you'll join us in reaching out to this boy and his family. (The address and more information is over at Val's site.)

4. Along the lines of making a difference, do you want your kids to have a better understanding of the hunger and hardship that so many children around the world face every day? Check out Compassion's Web site for kids. It looks like a great tool and a neat way to help kids see how they can make a difference.


5. If you haven't before, be sure to stop by my friend Stephanie's (Metropolitan Mama) site. She does the Tuesday Tours, which is a great way to find out what's happening on the Web, and she's recently written an e-book. I'll be telling you more about her and her book this coming Mom-Monday, but in the meantime, pop on over there and say hi.

6. If you have a minute, stop by Kathy's site too for her Fessing Up Fridays. Looks like fun!

7. Last, remember when I told you how we lost our cat Chester and how my daughter made a box to save money for a new kitten? Well, yesterday she had a bake sale to raise money for her cause. I was really proud of her. She came up with the idea, baked the brownies, and set everything up herself (and this time, there was no kitchen disaster).





When she first started the whole, "I'm saving my money to buy a kitten," thing, I wasn't sure about it, but how can I say no when she's working so hard? She even asked me to take her to Target to look at prices for cat food and litter. Which I did. And which I'll be writing about soon because it was one of those mom-moments that really had an impact on me. :)

Have a great weekend, everyone. I'll see you back here for Mom-Monday!
For more 7 Quick Takes, be sure and stop by Jennifer's Conversion Diary.

A mom, her daughter, and the story about what happened in the bridal shop in Las Vegas...

Welcome to Mom-Monday. I'm glad you're here!

When Carole, a woman I serve with on the hospitality team at my church, told me this story about her daughter (and we both cried as she told it), I knew I had to share it. I think it's a beautiful example of how one person can make a difference, in a big way. I hope it inspires you as much as it inspired me...

_______

A mom, her daughter, and the story about what happened in the bridal shop in Las Vegas...

When Carole's daughter Heidi got engaged, Carole was thrilled.

It didn’t matter that her daughter, a 39-year-old woman with Down Syndrome, would likely never marry the man she was engaged to. What mattered to Carole was that Heidi was happy and loved.

Wanting Heidi to experience the full joy of being engaged, Carole helped her set a wedding date. Heidi and her fiancé had known each other for twenty years, so setting the date out another twenty seemed like a good plan.

Like any bride, Heidi started reading wedding magazines and planning her big day. She'd go to the library and pore over magazines and pictures of brides and dresses.

Before long, Carole noticed that Heidi was losing weight. So much so that she became concerned.

After several trips to the doctor, and many tests to rule out medical problems, Carole realized the reason behind the weight loss: Heidi thought if you wanted to get married, you had to be skinny enough to fit into a wedding dress like the ones worn by models in magazines.

The doctor recommended that Carole take Heidi to a bridal shop to try on dresses, so she'd realize that there were many she could fit into, and that she didn’t have to lose weight to do it.

But when Carole tried to do that, she ran into a problem: the bridal shops she contacted wouldn't allow Heidi to try on dresses because her wedding date was twenty years out. Even after explaining the situation, Carole couldn't find a shop that would spend time with them.

Then Carole took Heidi on a trip to Las Vegas to visit friends. While they were there, they happened upon a small bridal shop when they were out walking. They decided to go in.

Even though the shop looked tiny from the outside, inside there were mirrors, a runway, and rows and rows of dresses.

A young salesgirl came up and asked if they needed help.

Carole pulled the salesgirl aside and explained Heidi's situation. She told her that, while Heidi was probably not going to get married, she thought that she was.

“No problem,” the girl said, smiling.

Carole was surprised and hopeful. Knowing that this might be her only chance to see her daughter in a wedding gown, and also knowing that most bridal shops have a policy that doesn't allow customers to take pictures, she was hesitant to ask her next question...

“There’s one more thing,” she said, “When Heidi tries on a dress, may I take a picture?”

“Of course,” the salesgirl answered. And, again, with a nod of understanding, “No problem.”

The salesgirl went to get Heidi. She found her looking at veils and told her that she could try on veils along with the dresses if she wanted to.

Heidi could barely contain herself. She and the salesgirl gathered about five wedding gowns and veils, then disappeared into the dressing room.

Several minutes later, they came out.

The girl helped Heidi walk the runway and encouraged her to spin in front of the mirrors. She complimented her and told her how beautiful she was.

Heidi beamed.

Carole took pictures through the tears in her eyes.

With each dress that Heidi tried on, the salesgirl led her down the runway, complimenting her, encouraging her, never rushing.
She let Heidi enjoy her moment.

And she let Carole enjoy hers, too.

“I’m a princess and my fiancé is a prince,” Heidi said proudly.

“You know, Heidi,” the salesgirl said, “in the back room, I have a princess dress.” She went in the back and got the dress--a beautiful white gown, covered in jewels.

When Heidi put the dress on, the salesgirl told her over and over, “You do look like a princess.”

After they were done and Heidi had chosen her favorite dress, the salesgirl invited her to come over to her desk. “This is what I do with all my brides,” she said, helping Heidi fill out a card with the style of the dress that she liked, the size, and the price.

She knew Heidi wasn’t going to buy that dress, but she did it anyway.
“For a mom with a special needs girl, it was incredible," Carole remembers.

But that's not the end of the story...
When Carole and Heidi finally left the bridal shop and continued down the street, they happened to pass a flower shop.

Overwhelmed with gratefulness for the time the salesgirl had spent with her daughter, Carole decided to buy some flowers to thank her.

But when she went into the flower shop, the owner told her they weren’t open for business yet. It was a new shop and there were only a few flowers in the refrigerator.

Carole thanked her and started to walk out, but then the owner asked, “What is it you were needing?”

Carole told her about the salesgirl at the bridal shop and what she’d done for Heidi.

“Let me make you something,” the owner insisted.

She pulled together all the flowers she could find and made a beautiful arrangement, on the spot.

She wouldn’t accept payment from Carole. “Just tell her we’re opening a new florist down here and give her my card,” the owner said, smiling.

When Heidi and Carole went back to the bridal shop, Heidi handed the flowers to the salesgirl. “These are for you because I’ve never had a better day,” she said.

“I want to tell you something,” the girl said back, “I’ve never had a better day either.”
When Carole remembers that day and all the things that happened to make it so special for Heidi, she says, “I think it just was something God intended. He obviously put everything together for a reason.”

Maybe that reason was to give others hope.
When Heidi was first born, and Carole and her husband Lou found out she had Down Syndrome, they were overwhelmed. The doctors told them that Heidi probably wouldn’t read and that she wouldn’t walk until she was about four.

But Carole and Lou decided they'd never treat their daughter like she was different.

And looking back after all these years, they’re glad they didn't.

Heidi has far exceeded the doctor’s expectations, and has even competed in the Special Olympics in virtually every sport for the past 32 years. She's an amazing woman who works hard at what she does and strives to be the best that she can be.

“Heidi is our gift from God,” Carole says proudly, smiling from ear to ear.

As any mother-of-the bride would. :)

_______

If you haven't already, leave your URL in the link list below so other moms can stop by your site.

Natural soaps, good reads, and a reminder about Fall get-togethers...

1. Happy Friday, everyone! I hope you had a great week. I have to share that the highlight of mine was finding out on Monday that my middle grade novel manuscript, Give and Take, received Honorable Mention in the SCBWI Sue Alexander Awards. That, and the fact that Mike brought home a dozen roses to congratulate me. The award is such an honor, and Mike was so sweet. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect day. :)


2. I also have to share this story (about a teenager who was given an assignment from a teacher to spend $12.00 and make a difference in the life of someone else). Stop by and read it if you have a minute; it's worth it. Thanks, Warren, for the tip.


3. I found this blog through Kelly's Korner and was really touched. Even though Lisa's son Brayden has been battling Leukemia, she's a mom filled with thankfulness and hope. I love how she reminds us to, "Hug your family and appreciate the simple, uneventful things that happen all around you." Stop by her blog, be inspired, and send prayers her way!


4. If you love natural soaps as much as I do, stop by Heather's site and check out her chemical-free, all-natural lineup. You can read more about Heather over at my friend Kellie's site. And a huge thanks to Kellie: remember when I told you how she was having a giveaway for a basket filled with $100 worth of organic products? Well, (yay, yay, yay!) it just so happens that I won the basket. It was filled with body spray, bath salts, mints, coffee (COFFEE!), and a bunch of other great stuff. I felt like a kid in a candy store. Thanks, Kellie!


5. Thanks also to those of you who've joined me in Talkin' About Thursdays so far. Don't forget to chime in next week with a post about Fall get-togethers. It should be a fun one. I'll be talking about some things we've done this fall, like our trip to the pumpkin patch, where I saw possibly the biggest pumpkin in the world...




6. And remember my post about the pictures on the car windows? Well, my daughter did a new drawing this week:




Pretty cool, don't you think? We even had someone roll down his window at a stop light and say, "Hey, great window!" The kids beamed.


7. Last, for all you writers, Literary Agent Nathan Bransford had a post packed with information summarizing this week in publishing, and Literary Agent Chip MacGregor had a post about the state of the publishing environment.


For more 7 Quick Takes, be sure and stop by Jennifer's Conversion Diary.


Have a great weekend, everyone. I'll see you back here for Mom-Monday!

An inspiring mom and her story...

Welcome to Mom-Monday. I'm glad you are here!

It seems like I've had so many inspiring moms cross my path lately.

Moms like Carole, who told me about what happened when she and her daughter Heidi, who has Down Syndrome, went to the bridal shop in Las Vegas. (I'll post the story soon; be ready with Kleenex.)

And moms like Michelle, who recently emailed me. Michelle is a new mom whose sweet baby girl had to have emergency colostomy surgery at just two days old.

But in spite of the fact that Michelle is still waiting for answers regarding her daughter's medical condition, she says, "even though I never thought anything good could come from the experience, with time, I've realized it's possible to see the good in almost every situation."

One of her recent posts shows the good she's talking about, and how her daughter's condition, though challenging and stressful, was able to help someone else.

Here's Michelle's post, A Moment In Time:

The other day I got an early morning phone call from one of my best friends. She had arranged a road trip for her 91 year-old father-in-law who wanted to see Niagara Falls with his 2 year-old granddaughter. He was very upset that morning and wanted to cancel the trip because his urostomy bag had leaked and come off. He was down to his last bag and was very worried that it would not hold up for the trip in the hot, muggy weather.

My friend and her husband had been trying to help him all morning, but he kept saying, "You don't understand," and, "I hate this bag," and, "I can't do this any more."

I told my friend that my daughter and I were coming over.

We arrived to find a man very frustrated and about to give up...

as if no one could really understand what he was going through.

I wanted him to know that he was not alone.

I showed him my daughter's colostomy bag and explained how she was having the exact same problems because of the hot weather.

He immediately calmed down when he saw my daughter and agreed to let us help him put on a new bag.

We worked carefully and quietly, and he seemed to enjoy telling us about the special application techniques he had developed over the years. He even commented on how he had the same kind of ostomy paste and I said, "Of course -this kind is the best."

I gave him some of our special medical tape to seal all the edges and we checked everything again until he was finally confident that the bag would stay in place for the road trip.

It was so touching to watch the interactions between my little baby, who is at the beginning of her life, helping a man who is nearing the end of his.

Despite their incredible differences, for that small moment in time, these two formed a special bond and understood each other perfectly.


I was touched by how Michelle's baby's difficult situation was able to bring comfort to her friend's father.

And I think it's a beautiful reminder that no matter what hardships or detours we face in life, someone else has been on the path we are on. We are not alone.

So if you're in a difficult place right now--if you or your child is sick, or if you're facing a tough time in your family--remember there are others who know how you feel. Turn to moms in your same situation or seek out a support group. Lean on family and friends and ask for prayer, because it makes a difference. (Leave a comment here or send me an email and I'll be praying for you too).

As to the future, Michelle says, "I will try to focus on the positive things in life. I will smile every day and I will watch my beautiful baby grow big and strong. I will do everything I can to get her the best medical support team I can find, and I will promise to be the best mama I can be."


I can't think of a better perspective. Don't you agree?

If you haven't already, leave your URL in the link list below so other moms can stop by your site. And stop by Michelle's site too and say hello. :)

And I realized all over again how fast time flies...

Welcome to Mom-Monday. I'm glad you're here!

Last Thursday, at our MOPS meeting, I sat next to a mom and her four-month-old daughter.

The baby was as sweet as ever--smiling, pulling on her bib, looking around the room with wide eyes. And when she started to get a little restless, I offered to take her and walk her around so the mom could relax and listen to the guest speaker.

It had been a while since I'd held a little one like that.

I'd forgotten how tiny hands and feet can be.

And I realized all over again how fast time flies...

It seems like just yesterday my eight-year-old and ten-year-old were babies, too.

I remember marveling at each new thing they did--their first smiles, their first words, their first steps.

I remember the nights I'd rock them to sleep, singing and praying, with tears in my eyes from the gratefulness I felt.

I remember feeling scared, too, hoping I'd be a good mom. There were questions and uncertainties and "what ifs" that I worried about. There were temper tantrums and sleepless nights and days I thought I'd never get a minute to myself.

When you have kids, everyone always tells you to enjoy each moment because time flies.

And even though it sounds cliche', the more time that passes, the more I realize it's true.

One minute you have a baby and the next minute, you're getting ready to send her off to kindergarten. Or middle school. Or college.

So if you're in that place of feeling frustrated or overwhelmed by the responsibilities of motherhood, if you're exhausted from toddlers constantly tugging at your legs, or if you're counting the days until your babies get older so they can be more self sufficient, be encouraged...

Kids grow up, and the demands for diaper changes and bottles and constant attention go away.

But so do the moments of holding them in your arms and rocking them to sleep. Of seeing them take their first steps. Of hearing them say, "Mama" for the first time.

So while you're waiting for those little ones to get older, go hug them.

And rock them.

And take plenty of pictures and videos.

Savor every moment.

Because time does fly.

It really does. :)

What about you? If you have kids, what ages are they? Are you looking forward to them getting older or do you wish they wouldn't grow up so fast?

If you haven't already, leave your URL in the link list below, so other moms can stop by your site and say hi on Mom-Mondays. It's a simple way for moms to come alongside other moms!

Lessons from the rock wall...

Welcome to Mom-Monday. I'm glad you're here!

I watched my kids as they climbed the rock wall.

I got out my phone and snapped a couple of pictures, smiling at the way they fearlessly scaled the two-story tower...



Even my daughter, who tends to be a little cautious, descended upside down, laughing.



They raced each other to the top, over and over.

They didn't worry about falling.

They never looked down.

And when they got to the bottom, they stayed there only a second before they grabbed onto the wall and started climbing again.

Better them than me, I thought. If I were the one climbing, I'd be worrying if the harness was secure or thinking about how far I'd have to fall if I lost my footing.

As I watched my kids, I wondered...

Does being a parent do that to us--take away our sense of adventure and replace it with caution?

Afrer all, we're the ones who have to try to keep our kids safe...

We've got to prevent them from choking.

And keep them from getting hurt.

And make sure they don't talk to strangers.

And teach them to look both ways before crossing the street.

My poor son can't even hold his pocket knife without me standing next to him, guarding over him. And I have to bite my lip every time my daughter roller blades down the driveway, just to keep myself from telling her for the umpteenth time to be careful.

When I read One Month to Live by Kerry and Chris Shook, and when I did My One Month here on my blog, I became really intentional about seizing the moment and living each day to the fullest.
But sometimes I forget.
Sometimes, in the daily grind of motherhood, I get side-tracked and lose my enthusiasm.

Sometimes I doubt myself and hold back on things.
Sometimes I worry and forget to pray.
Sometimes I sweat the small stuff.
And as I sat there watching my son and daughter on that rock wall, I was inspired all over again.

Because I want to approach life with the same enthusiasm they climbed that wall with.

I want to face opportunities and challenges with fearlessness and faith.

I don't want to waste time looking down or worrying about falling.

And if I do fall, I want to remember to laugh, resting at the bottom for only a minute until I get back up and start climbing again.

Being a mom (or dad) doesn't mean we have to lose our sense of adventure. It doesn't mean we have to give up our dreams either. It just means we have more people to share our dreams with.
I don't want to miss what's on the other side of the street in my life because I'm too busy looking both ways to make sure it's safe enough to cross.

And I don't want to miss the view from the top of the rock wall, either.

Thanks for the reminder, kids. :)
What about you? Has becoming a parent made you more cautious or hesitant? Do you ever feel like you're holding back on things you'd like to do? Or, if not, what are some of the adventures you're pursuing? I'd love to hear from you!

If you haven't already, leave your URL in the link list below, so other moms can stop by your site and say hi on Mom-Mondays. It's a simple way for moms to come alongside other moms!

The Moment I Almost Missed...

It was after 9:30 p.m. on a school night.

Mike was at a dinner meeting for work, my son had just fallen asleep, and I had a lot to do before the next day. We'd been at my daughter's play practice and had gotten home later than usual.

"Will you stay in my room for a while?" she asked as I tucked her in.

"Not tonight," I told her, thinking about everything I had to get done. "It's late. And you need to get to sleep." I leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.

She reached her arms around my neck and hugged me. "Please?"

I wavered, thinking about the dishes, the laundry, and the emails I needed to catch up on.

"Please?" she asked again.

"All right," I said, giving in, "but just for a minute."

I sat down on her bed.

She reached out and held my hand.

We didn't talk much.

She was tired and so was I.

Instead, we listened to the hum of her ceiling fan and the bubbling of her fish tank.

"Goodnight, Mommy," she said, yawning.

"Goodnight."

As I sat there, it hit me that she'll be in sixth grade--in middle school--next year.

And I don't know if she'll be asking me to stay in her room with her at night much longer.

I wished I hadn't told her no so quickly.

And I savored the moment, realizing that someday--someday probably too soon--these times together will be memories, and not something we do regularly.

One minute turned into two.

Then two turned into three.

I didn't want to leave.

I watched her eyes close and listened to the sound of her breathing as she fell asleep.

And I was more thankful than ever for that moment...

the moment I almost missed.


What about you? Do you ever say no too quickly? Have you had any memorable or fun times with your kids lately as a result of just saying yes? I'd love to hear about it.


___________



Giveaway winner! Congratulations to Barbie (selected by Random.org number generator), who won my giveaway for any product up to a $45.00 value at AllChildrensFurniture.com. Barbie is a mom of four and I hope she has fun finding something for her kids!

Thanks to everyone who joined in and left comments for the giveaway. I loved reading about you all so much that I've decided to make a link to your introductions in my sidebar. Check it out. It's called "New Readers--Introduce Yourself". Thanks to Jennifer at Conversion Diary for the idea. If you haven't told me (and others) about yourself, be sure to click on the link and leave a comment to share. And if you want to add more info, comment again!

___________


If you haven't already, leave your URL in the link list below, so other moms can stop by your site and say hi on Mom-Mondays. It's a simple way for moms to come alongside other moms!

I remember...

In my corporate job, back before Mike and I had kids, I travelled to New York on a business trip.

I visited the usual tourist attractions, but there was one place I remember the most...

the World Trade Center.

I remember the sparkling lobby as I entered and the crowds bustling around.

I remember the huge elevators and how fast they went.

I remember being at the top of the South Tower in the Observation Deck, looking out the windows and literally catching my breath, amazed at how high up I was. I took pictures from there, pointing my camera down at the tiny cars and buildings below.

I didn't realize at the time that those pictures would someday be irreplaceable. That I'd never be able to stand in that spot or see that view again.

I remember September 11, 2001 like it was yesterday. Mike and I were on our way to take one of our cars to the dealership for service that morning. I was driving in front of him in one car, and he was following me in the other, when I first heard the news on the radio. I called him on his cell phone and told him to turn his radio on too.

I remember wiping away tears as I drove, listening in disbelief to what was happening that very minute over 2,000 miles away.

We sat at the dealership together, signing our car in, watching the TV screen in shock as the first tower collapsed.

I remember the loud gasps that filled the room.

And I remember the sinking feeling of realizing what happened.

I remember being home later that day, after learning the news of the other planes, and hugging my kids--my son, seven months old at the time, and my daughter, two years--as tight as I could.

I remember being glued to the TV, trying not to let my daughter see that I was crying.

I remember the news coverage: the speeches, the funerals, the tears of the families who lost loved ones that day.

I remember the heroism of the firefighters and police officers and paramedics. And the heroism of everyday citizens who reached out to help each other.

I remember our country coming together and praying.

And I remember, even in a time of tragedy and fear, a feeling of triumphant hope rising from the smoke and ashes.

This weekend--this 9/11--I remember.

And I'm thankful for my life, my country, and all the men and women who serve and sacrifice in so many ways to make America the wonderful place that it is.

God Bless America.

On Being A Role Model to Our Kids...

Welcome to Mom-Monday. I'm glad you're here!

I've mentioned before one of the frustrations that sometimes comes with being a parent: we want to be role models for our kids, yet we're far from perfect.
No matter how much we try to be loving, consistent, patient, and make the all the right parenting decisions all the time, we're human and we make mistakes.

But that's okay.

We don't have to be perfect moms and dads (is there such a thing, anyway?) to set a positive example for our kids.

Often, it's not the big, intentional lessons we set out to teach them that make the most impact.

Sometimes, it's the small, everyday things...

Just this week, when my daughter and I were out running errands, as we walked to our car, she said, "Wait, Mommy."

She turned and headed in the opposite direction, a couple cars over.

Then she bent down, picked up a piece of half-crumpled newspaper that was on the ground, and ran back over to me.

"Gotta pick this up," she said, matter-of-fact.

And I realized...she's noticed when I stop and pick up litter off the ground as we're walking to school, or inside a store, or in a parking lot.

Then, just a couple days later, I let her and her brother go to the snack bar at the gym while I stayed at a table nearby. I'd given them $5.00 to split a smoothie. When she came back and sat down, I asked her if she'd gotten any change.

She smiled at said, "Yeah, but I put in the tip jar."

And again, I thought with a smile...she sees when I put the change in the tip jar at Starbucks. Or the car wash. Or wherever we happen to be.

These weren't lessons I deliberately set out to teach her.

They weren't things I talked about.

They were things I just did.

And seeing my ten-year-old daughter do them too was a reminder of how everyday things can impact our kids.

And even though I sometimes see a hint of embarrassment in my kids' eyes when I do things like stop and thank men and women in military uniforms for their sacrifice for our country, I hope that one day, my kids will do the same.

And something tells me that they will. :)


What do you think? Have you ever been surprised by something your kids have picked up on when you didn't know they were watching? What about some things you've done that have had a positive impact on them? I'd love to hear from you...


If you haven't already, leave your URL in the link list below, so other moms can stop by your site and say hi. It's a simple way for moms to come alongside other moms.

Showing your kids you love them: It's How You Say Hello

Welcome to Mom-Monday (vol. 9).

I'm glad you're here!



I've been travelling again this week, so I'm putting up a previous post about showing your kids how much you love them.

Sometimes, that can be as simple as how you say hello.



It's How You Say Hello...

The other day I took my kids to the gym with me. When I went to pick them up from the play area after I’d finished working out, I passed the window to the room that they were in.

My daughter saw me through the glass, jumped up, and waved.

And when I opened the door, she was standing at the front desk, smiling. “Mommy!” she said, hugging me tight.

I’d only been “gone” for an hour, but by the way she acted, you’d guess it had been a week.

Her sweet greeting seriously melted my heart. And it made me think...

How do I say hello to her?

I thought about the morning before, when I woke her up with a quick kiss on the forehead, then launched into a very rushed, “Don’t take too long getting ready because it’s our day to carpool. And you need to clean your room before we leave. It looks like a tornado came through here.”

I thought about when I’d picked my kids up from school that day, too. We’d walked through the park, passing others who were playing on the swings and buying ice-cream from the ice-cream truck. I shuffled my kids along, reminding them to hurry because we had to get to basketball. I barely registered their disappointed faces when I told them we didn’t have time for ice-cream.

And now I’m thinking I need to be more aware of this greeting thing.

Because I want to make sure when I say hi to my kids, or to my husband, or to anyone, I’m doing it in a way that really acknowledges them. And I want to give the kind of greeting that focuses on that moment, not all of the things on the schedule ahead.

I truly appreciated how my daughter made me feel that day at the gym. And I appreciated the reminder to slow down and take the time to make my kids feel special.

Because I want them to know how much I love them.

With every single hello.



What do you think? Do you find yourself getting caught up in the schedule, forgetting how your interactions with your kids make them feel? What are some of the things you do to let your kids know how much you love them?


If you haven't already, leave your URL in the link list below, so other moms can stop by your site and say hi. It's a simple way for moms to come alongside other moms.

Sometimes Trying is Winning: A Swim Team Story

Welcome to Mom-Monday. (vol. 8)

I'm glad you're here!



I'm still at a writing conference so I'm putting up my previous post about a girl who placed last at a swim meet I was at.

As a mom, it reminds me to focus more on effort than end result.

And it reminds me that winning isn't everything.

What do you think?

I look forward to hearing from you. :)


Sometimes Trying is Winning

A few days ago, as I waited for my kids to dry off at their swim meet, I caught the last part of another group’s race.

All of the swimmers had finished, except for a young girl in the middle lane. She was struggling with her backstroke and was not quite halfway through her lap. Most of the cheering had quieted and all eyes were on her.

But one voice could still be heard.

Alongside the pool, this young girl’s dad walked at the same pace she swam.

“You can do it! Keep going!” he shouted, smiling.

You could tell he was proud that even though she was having a hard time, she wasn’t giving up.

It didn’t matter that the other swimmers had already finished.

It didn’t matter that his child would come in last.

What mattered to this man was that his daughter knew he believed in her.

He wasn’t sitting back in the bleachers, disappointed or frustrated. He was by her side, cheering her on. And when she finished her lap and climbed out of the pool, he beamed. “Good job!”

I got a lump in my throat just watching.

And it reminded me that winning isn’t as important as we often make it out to be.

As parents, I think sometimes we get too caught up in wanting our kids to succeed, focusing more on competing than whether or not our kids are having fun or building character.

And maybe we forget that sometimes, trying is winning.

Even though I appreciate my kids’ strengths and weaknesses, and I know they’ll be good at some things and not others, I admit there’ve been times I’ve caught myself on the edge of my seat at a game wanting my child to score that winning goal.

Or make that basket.

Or hit that homerun.

Most of the time, I think our desire to see our kids succeed simply comes from wanting the best for them. Whether it’s in school, in sports, or in life. And I’m not saying that winning is bad. It’s not. We should teach our kids to reach for goals, and try hard, and learn how to apply themselves.

But I believe there’s a balance to be found, even though that's sometimes hard to do.

If our kids are giving their best effort, should it matter if they come in last?

And what good is first place if they only push themselves for our approval? A loss every now and then just might build more character than an undefeated season.

I want to remember how that dad at the swim meet encouraged his daughter.

I want to remember his seemingly unconditional pride.

Because I want to give my kids that same kind of lift.

Whether they come in first place or last.

Whether they win or lose.

I want them to know I’m proud of them.

Always. :)


If you haven't already, leave your URL in the link list below, so other moms can stop by your site and say hi. It's a simple way for moms to come alongside other moms.

What I've Learned...

Thank you to everyone who participated in My One Month! I loved reading all your posts and comments, and I was inspired by your stories and what you shared.

By the end of this week, I’ll select one (or more) post to put up here for a little while. I’ll also forward the post(s) to the authors of One Month to Live for consideration to use on their website. If you haven't had a chance to read some of the "One Month" stories that people have written, take a few minutes to check them out here. You won't be disappointed.

It's been an awesome, put-it-all-in-perspective month for me. I've learned so many things...

I’ve learned to worry less and pray more.

I’ve learned, when my daughter says, “I want a long hug, Mommy,” to hold on until she lets go. Even if it’s late at night. Or even if I’m in a hurry.

I’ve learned to have more fun.

And say yes more often.

I’ve learned, as a parent, that even though I’ll make plenty of mistakes, the only thing that really matters is if my kids know, at the end of each day, how much I love them.

I’ve learned how much peace my faith brings me.

And I’ve learned how much my relationships with my family and friends matter.

I’ve learned to take more risks.

And doubt myself less.

And I’ve learned to let things like the laundry sit there, undone, while my kids and I read together, or play a game, or go outside.

Even though it sounds ironic, in the middle of one of the busiest months ever--with a new position and writing deadlines and a full schedule--I’ve learned to be more disciplined about taking time for myself and others. And prioritizing.

It’s been a month of focus and change for me. And even though I definitely don’t "have it all figured out”, I’m thankful for the way this month—and the way this book—has affected me.

Because I don’t think a day will go by from now on where I won’t stop and ask myself, “If I really had one month to live...?”

And if I can continue to look at relationships, decisions, and priorities from a “One Month” perspective, then I know, no matter how many months I have left of this life I’ve been given, I won’t have any regrets when it's over. :)

A Day to Give

When I saw this challenge over at We Are THAT Family, I was excited...

Not only did it tug at my heartstrings, but it also ties into what I've been trying to focus on for My One Month. I couldn’t wait to help someone and then write about it.

I thought about how I might be able to make a difference. There are so many needs out there, and so many great organizations and causes...

Everywhere I went, I kept an eye out. I didn't want to miss an opportunity to give. And while I looked for a need around me, I did other things...

Like help in my kids' classrooms.

And volunteer with my daughter at a luncheon at our church.

And make a donation to breast cancer research when the person at the checkout stand asked if I wanted to contribute.

And send a check for the little girl we sponsor in Uganda through REACH.

Please don't think I'm telling you these things to pat myself on the back or to list them as my "acts of giving".

I'm sharing them because, honestly, the things I did seemed small. I still wanted to help with a "big need" out there. A need where I could really give.

Then I drove through the neighborhood and saw a neighbor watering the lawn of a house nearby. A house that wasn't his. The people who lived there had moved out, and this neighbor was going out of his way to keep the lawn from dying.

And I got to thinking...

Just like I’m realizing more and more that it's the little things that truly matter in life, it’s also the little opportunities to give, when acted on, that can make a big difference.

Opportunities like watering that lawn.

And making that donation.

And helping at our kids' schools.

And bringing someone flowers.

It's living life with open hands and giving freely, not only in situations where you can make a big impact, but also in everyday circumstances where you can help out and touch lives in ways you may never know.

Thank you Kristen for this challenge and for reminding me to "keep a lookout" every day for the needs of others, big and small.


From the book One Month to Live:

"Whether it's through our churches, our schools, our companies, our neighborhoods, or our families, we're called to come together to help others."

What if...you had one month to live?

I’m reading the New York Times bestseller One Month to Live by Kerry and Chris Shook and I’ve been asking myself that question a lot lately.

If I had one month to live, what would I spend more time on? Or less?

How would my perspective change?

The book has inspired me to look at life in a whole new way, and to really try to make each day count. It's helped me to focus on what truly matters.

In fact, seeing everything through “One Month” lenses has impacted me so much that I wanted to share it.

I’ve heard it said that if you do something for thirty days, it can become a habit. So for the next month, I’ll be hosting what I’m calling “My One Month”—focusing on living life in a way that if I did find out I had a month to live, I’d have no regrets.

I’ll be blogging about my journey and would love for you to join me.

Just ask yourself the question--what if I had only one month to live? Then write about it. Your post can be as simple as a list of things you’d like to do, or it can be about something that happens as a result of looking at life from a “One Month” viewpoint.

If you don’t have a blog, you can still participate. Simply stop by throughout the month and comment to share your ideas and stories.

I contacted the authors of One Month to Live, and they offered to send me a couple of autographed copies of their book to give away. So to kick this off, leave a comment on this post for a chance to win. (I’ll be randomly selecting the two winners from the comments and will announce them on Friday, October 3rd.)

The authors will also be considering a couple of your posts and/or comments for publication on their website. (Read the details below to see how this will work.)

Like the book says, living a no-regrets life isn’t about focusing on the fact that we’re all going to die someday.

It’s about choosing to live in a way that makes each moment matter.

And that’s something worth doing.

Don’t you think?


Here are more details about how to join me in “My One Month”:

Grab this button:

<a href="http://www.mycup2yours.com" target="blank"><img src="http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/nn5/ghikes/blog/myonemonth150button.jpg" height="150px" width="150px" alt="My One Month hosted by My Cup 2 Yours" /></a>

Write your own “My One Month” post any time from September 29th - October 27th. (Again, if you don’t have a blog, comment to share your story.)

Link up. After you’ve written your post and linked here, come sign the Mr. Linky box below. (When this post is no longer at the top of my blog, I’ll have a link that will get you back here and to Mr. Linky. So whether you want to write something now or later in the month, you can come back at any time and add your name/URL.)

As I blog about “My One Month” and read your posts and comments, I’ll be linking to some of my favorites so that others can read them as well.

After October 27th, I’ll be selecting one or two posts/comments to put up on my blog for a few days, as well as forwarding them on to the authors of One Month to Live for their consideration. (Note: This isn’t a writing contest; it’s just a matter of sharing your heart and your experiences.)

Spread the word and tell your friends about this. The more people we have joining in, the more I think we’ll all be inspired and encouraged by each other’s stories.

And I hope, by focusing for a month on making the most of the lives we’ve been given, that the impact will last forever.

A Man Named Ted

There’s a man named Ted who lives in a Senior Home near our house.

I’ve only met him once, but he’s had a place in my heart ever since.

I first saw him about a year and a half ago, when I was out running errands.

I'd been driving by the Home and noticed him sitting out front, watching cars go by. As I drove past, I wondered what he was doing...

Was he waiting for a ride? Was someone coming to visit him?

A couple days later, I was on the same road, at about the same time, and there he was again--white haired, tall and thin. And all by himself.

Again, I wondered...

Did he have family? Or friends?

I thought about him the whole way home.

When I saw him again a few days later, I felt a pull to stop and talk to him--a pull so strong that I slowed down and turned into the parking lot after the next intersection, thinking I should go back. But when I looked at the clock, I realized I had only fifteen minutes to pick my son up from school.

I sighed and drove off, promising that next time I’d say hi.

Then I realized I didn’t have to wait until next time...

"Want to surprise someone today?" I asked my son when I picked him up.

I told him about my idea and the man I'd seen.

We went home and cut roses from our yard. I took the thorns off, and we made a bouquet. Then we drove back to the Home.

But when we got there, the man was gone.

I parked the car and we went inside, hoping to find him.

“Can I help you?” a woman asked as we walked in.

“This might sound strange,” I started nervously, “but I’m looking for a man who sits outside in the mornings, right out front. He’s tall and has white hair…”

“That sounds like Ted,” she said, smiling.

I pointed to the roses. “We wanted to give him these.”

"He was just here." She looked around the lobby.

"There he is," she said.

And I saw him by the stairs.

My son and I walked up to him. “Ted?” I asked.

He nodded.

“I see you in the mornings sometimes when I drive by here." I held out the bouquet. "We just wanted to give you these and say hi.”

Slowly, he took the roses, a look of surprise on his face.

"Thank you," he whispered.

Then he turned to my son and reached out his hand.

And I got a lump in my throat.

Because it’s beautiful to see the hand of a six-year-old child wrapped inside that of a ninety-or-so-year-old man.

He asked my son what his name was, and he thanked us again. We only stayed for a minute before saying goodbye.

But in that moment, Ted made his way into our hearts.

When my husband and I took our kids to the Home last Christmas to deliver some cards that they'd made, they walked up and down the halls looking for a door with the name Ted on it. When they found one, they picked out their favorite card and set it on the floor in front of the door.

And to this day, when I drive down that road, I look for Ted sitting outside.

The best part is, so do my kids.

I know that Ted might have a family that sees him often. And he might have friends that bring him flowers or send him cards.

But, then again, he might not.

Either way, I'm thankful I met him. Because it reminded me of the impact that reaching out to others can have. And the importance of caring about people we may not necessarily know.

And I’ll never forget the image of that man holding my son’s hand, or the smile on both of their faces that day.

---

p.s. I’m over at 5 Minute for Mom's Faith Lifts today. Stop on over and say hi...

Got a Compliment? Give it Away...

How many times do you notice something that you like or appreciate about somebody, but you don't tell them?

How many times does a compliment cross your mind, but not your lips?

That’s a question I asked myself this week.

I was in the locker room at the gym several days ago, and the woman standing next to me at the sink had a really cute shirt on.

I love that shirt, I thought.

I dried my hands and started to walk away, then realized, I should tell her that.

I stopped. “That’s such a cute shirt,” I said.

Her eyes brightened. “Thanks! I just got it.”

“It’s really pretty. I love the colors.”

“Thank you.” She smiled. I could tell she appreciated the compliment. And I was glad that I said something instead of hurrying out, not making the effort.

After that, I wondered how many times I do notice or appreciate things about others, but don’t say anything.

I vowed to try to be more aware of this.

All week, when I saw something I could compliment, I did. Not frivolously, saying I liked something when I didn’t, but actively trying to appreciate the qualities of others and letting them know.

Like the little boy at the store who did a great job holding the door open for me when I walked in.

And the teenager at the mall who made an extra effort to help my daughter when we were school shopping.

And the woman next to me at church who had THE cutest skirt on.

Like my son who is finally remembering to thank his coaches when he leaves practices and games without my husband or me telling him to.

And my daughter who has been taking the initiative to empty the dishwasher before being asked.

All week, I made a conscious effort to say the compliments that I might’ve only thought before.

And all week, I enjoyed the smiles and thank yous that were returned.

I think sometimes we forget how many of us walk around feeling unappreciated or unsure of ourselves, questioning our abilities or our appearances.

And sometimes we may not realize the boost that a little compliment can give.

Or the positive feelings it can create.

Or the encouragement it can provide.

As long as it's given away.