7 Quick Takes Friday

Happy Friday, everyone! I'm joining Jennifer again in her 7 Quick Takes...

1

I'm over at 5 Minutes for Faith today talking about friendship and what it's meant to me lately. Stop by if you have a minute!

2

Julie Carr had a post this week I just had to share. We've all heard about moms (or maybe you're one of them) whose kids have colored on walls, furniture, or other "creative" places. Stop by Julie's site and find out what happened this week when her house got suddenly quiet...

3

Speaking of quiet houses, I learned a long time ago that silence when the kids are home is NEVER a good thing (unless they're sleeping). One time, my kids had friends over and things got mysteriously quiet. I looked around, trying to find the kids, and eventually did...in the pantry, huddled together on the floor, eating handfuls of chocolate chips. :)

4

On a more "business-y" note, I've mentioned before that I subscribe to ProBlogger. Darren wrote a great post this week about how to build credibility. Not only does it apply to blogging and writing, but I think it also applies to many other areas of life. Worth a read!

5

A quick note about comments: I love hearing from you. And I love being able to send a note back or pop by your site after you comment when I can. But--for some of you--I'm unable to do that because your profile is unavailable. I'm no techie, but I think if you go to your profile and choose to show your email and share your profile, access is enabled so others can stop by from the comments screen.

6

And about the weather: It got hot in California this week! I mean HOT. I know I might seem like a wimp because we don't have humidity here, but I'm already finding myself thinking about the pumpkin patch and cooler weather, and maybe even some rain. Is it just me, or is anyone else already looking forward to the fall?

7

To end things on a perky note, I saw a post over at Pocketful of Bliss that inspired me. In fact, if I didn't have a knee brace on, I think I would've run outside and done a cartwheel myself. Head on over there and have a look. Then go find something fun to do that makes you shout, "I've still got it!"


Make it a great weekend, everyone. Hope to see you back here for Mom-Monday. I'll be having a giveaway you won't want to miss!

Talk soon,

Snakes and Snails and... Bird Wings?

I've told you before about some of the things my son has done, like tie a tarantula to my steering wheel and stick soap planets to the shower wall.

And then of course there was the big, bad red thing in my kitchen.

Most recently, he's been into snails and slugs. In fact, he's had one snail (that he calls a worm) for about three weeks now...



In case you can't read his writing on the outside of the snail house, my son is the proud owner of Phillip Johnny Bob Joe Rex, "awesomest" worm (snail).

He has a real worm too.

And a slug.

And a cute little pot to keep them in...

But none of that is as bad as the bird wing...

Remember the baby birds I told you about, and how they didn't make it?

The other day, my son came in from playing in the backyard and said, "Mom, something dug up Tibbles."

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Because look what I found..."

And he held up a plastic bag with a bird wing in it.

I tried not to freak out. "Did you touch that with your bare hands?"

He nodded.

"Go wash your hands really good. Right now. And then put that wing back outside."

"But, Mom," he hugged the bag, "it's a keepsake."

A keepsake? I tried to remember to see things from his perspective. "It won't last," I explained. "And, besides, it has germs on it."

"No it doesn't," he said, matter-of-fact." I already washed it with soap and put hand sanitizer on it." He proudly held the bag closer for me to see.

And sure enough, that little wing was gooped with sanitizer gel.

But I promise you, that didn't change my mind.

Because, somehow, keeping a wing in a plastic bag creeps me out a tad more than having snails and worms as pets.

Or finding my daughter's mouse in the laundry basket.

Or even discovering crickets all over the house. :)

For more "Wordful" or "Wordless" Wednesday photos, stop by Angie's Seven Clown Circus or 5MinutesforMom.

Talk soon,

Disciplining Kids: It's All About The Calmness...

Welcome to Mom-Monday.

I'm glad you're here!




Any mom knows that disciplining kids can be hard.

I’ll never forget when my daughter, about two-and-a-half at the time, had a full-blown temper tantrum in Target. Up to that point, I thought my husband and I were doing a pretty good job with discipline. I'm embarrassed to admit I never thought my child would prostrate herself on the floor in the middle of a store, kicking and screaming.

Boy, was I humbled.

Several temper tantrums and another child later, I’ve learned a couple of things about discipline. And as more time passes, the more I seem to figure it out--what works with my kids, how to be more consistent, and how to be more effective.

But.

If you're like me, you still go through what I call "discipline phases."

Even though I know discipline is important, and I try to be as consistent as possible, sometimes I...

forget.

Sometimes, especially when I'm busy or rushed, or when I'm around a bunch of people, instead of correcting my kids the first time, I find myself saying things like, "if you do that again, you're going to get a consequence" or, "one more chance and that's it."

And then the next thing I know, I get into a pattern and I find myself saying these things more and more.

And my kids start to listen less and less.

And why shouldn't they?

If I'm always warning them and not actually correcting them, then I'm setting that standard. I'm teaching them exactly what they can get away with.

And that's when things start to get frustrating.

And I feel like I'm always nagging.

And being a mom suddenly becomes not-as-much-fun.

Then.

Finally.

I snap to my senses and realize what's going on.

And that's when I move into another phase I call the mommy-crack-down, where I talk less and follow-through more. Where I set clearer expectations and become really consistent. And everybody doesn't get fifty warnings before they get a consequence.

My kids love it.

And that's the phase I've been in the last couple of days.

Because lately, with them being out of school, and with me being home so much because of my arm and knee, it seems like there's been a whole lot of general wildness going on around here.

The other day, when I told my son no about something and he stomped away, it was a perfect opportunity to recalibrate. Instead of more warnings and discussion, he got priviliges taken away. And it was amazing how quickly his attitude changed.

Later, I hugged him and thanked him for making such an improvement. "I guess getting in trouble once in a while really works," I teased.

And that's when he turned to me, very serious, and said:

"No, Mom. It wasn't the getting in trouble that did it. It's the new pet fish I got. He gives me total calmness."

So there you go.

If you're struggling with discipline, or your kids are acting up, just get them a fish.

A beta fish, to be exact.

The kind that I just found out can live up to eight years, instead of three (that's a whole other story).

You'll be amazed at the calmness you'll see. :)

So what kind of disciplinarian are you? Do you find yourself going through phases? What have been some of your challenges or successes? Leave a comment and share your thoughts, stories, or best practices.

Enter your URL below after you comment, so others can stop by your site and say hi. (If you already entered it previously, this list will automatically pull it.)

7 Quick Takes Friday

I have a bunch of quick things to share today, so I'm joining Jennifer from Conversion Diary in her 7 Quick Takes Friday. (Jennifer's blog and story are really inspiring. She's also a Kidsave host and an excellent writer, working on a book.)

So here are my 7 Quick Takes:

1

First, I want to thank Jackie at Memories by Design for the new look around here. If anyone is looking for a blog design, check out Jackie's site and peek at her portfolio. She's awesome! And she also has a great blog.

2

If you're a writer, or if you're interested in learning more about writing and the publishing industry, Literary Agent Rachelle Gardner wrote a couple of great posts recently about good vs. hot projects and why a project might sell even if it's not hot. Her blog is an excellent source of information. Some other literary agent blogs that are great resources: Chip MacGregor, Nathan Bransford, and Books & Such.

3

Thank you to everyone who has joined me in Mom-Mondays! I'm not so sure I did the best job explaining things in the beginning, so sorry for the confusion. :) Just to clarify: all you have to do to participate in Mom-Mondays is stop by and comment to share your thoughts. If you want, you can also add your URL so others can find your site. It's just a simple way for moms to connect with other moms and come alongside each other. There's no post or link required (though I won’t complain if you help me spread the word). Thank you Stephanie at MetropolitanMama for the mention in Tuesday-Tours, and 5MinutesforMom for the mention in Around the Blogosphere. I really appreciate it!

4

I'm over at Kellie's Women's Life Link today with an article about the benefits of drinking tea if you want to stop by. Kellie writes about a variety of interesting and helpful health and beauty topics like organic skin care, Vitamin D, and the benefits of Omega-3 fatty acids. If you have a minute, pop on by!

5

I told you a while ago about the necklace Kristen made me and how much I love it. Well, she's having a giveaway at her site that you won't want to miss. Her jewelry is custom made, beautiful, inspiring, and fun. Need I say more?

6

If some of you received posts from me in your readers or emails titled "Contact" or "Home" or things like that, I'm sorry. I was creating links for my site and, even though the posts were back-dated, it looks like they went out. And then last night, some random older posts went out too; I have no idea why. Sorry about all that!

7

Last but not least, a quick note of thanks to those who have sent me emails, Facebook messages, and comments with well wishes for my arm and leg to heal quickly. I recently got good news that I won't have to have knee surgery, and my arm cast is off as of two days ago. I even get to switch to a smaller brace for my knee next week, so I'm definitely on the mend. Thanks for the concern!

Have a great weekend, everyone. I hope to see you back here for Mom-Monday!

Talk soon,

This Boring Job

My daughter is an organizer.

Like me.

We love to clean out drawers and rearrange things.

So when she told me yesterday that she wanted to clean out our gift closet (where we keep wrapping paper, gift bags, bows, etc.), I was thrilled.

I thought it'd be a great little project.

Until she took the bins out of the closet and emptied them onto the family room floor...

(I don't even know how all that stuff fit into those white bins in the background, but it did.)

"This is the way I clean," she said proudly.

"Well, I hope so, because I'm not picking that up," I told her.

An hour later, she was still sitting in the middle of the pile, tired of playing with bows and ribbons and gift accessories.

Tired of organizing.

And I knew what was coming...

"Mommy?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you help me clean this up?"

When I told her no, she decided to make the best of the situation. She danced around, tossing things into the bins, sorting and categorizing, and singing her own song to the tune of Julianne Hough's My Hallelujah Song...

"This job... is way... too boring... foooor... meee. Too boring. Fooor... meeee...

I can't believe... I am stuck...doing this... boring jooooob...

Doing this... boring jooooob..."

Thirty minutes later, only half the room was clean.

I shook my head, exasperated, and looked at the piles. "That is seriously..."

And she finished my sentence... "the best mess ever!"

Then she did a curtsy. :)

For more "Wordful Wednesday" photos, visit Angie over at Seven Clown Circus!

Talk soon,

On Being A Happy Mom...

Welcome to Mom-Monday.

I'm glad you're here!




Kids can bring more happiness than we ever imagined.

But they can also test our patience and endurance like nothing else can.

Whether you have one child or eight, whether you work outside of the house or stay at home, whether you have babies or teens, whether you’re raising your own kids or someone else’s, whether you’ve adopted or not, home-schooled or not, are single or married, have “little angels” or “wild things” running around your house, being a mom can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life.

But it can also be one of the most challenging.

And the most overwhelming.

And the most humbling.

Who knew we could learn so much from these little human beings?

Like how to function on only a few hours of sleep?

And how to help with homework, make dinner, answer the phone, and look for the missing binky—all at the same time?

Who knew that being a mom came with its own set of priorities and sacrifices? Or that it would teach us so much about compromising and negotiating? (And the fact that, most of the time, we shouldn’t be compromising and negotiating. Because we’re the moms, right?)

Who knew that being a parent would be such a balancing act?

We want to be organized, but we feel like we’re not.

We want to be productive, but we never seem to be able to get it all done.

We want to be consistent, but sometimes we’re exhausted.

We want to make the right decisions, but sometimes we don’t know what the right decisions are.

We want to be role models, but we’re far from perfect.

We want time to ourselves, but our kids need our time.

Most of all, we want to be good moms.

And we just don’t know if we are.

We get frustrated and lose our patience and spend some days looking forward to the next phase of parenting, when our kids will finally be out of diapers, or when they’ll finally be out of strollers, or when they’ll finally be driving themselves around. When things will be easier and we can get back to feeling like ourselves.

We hope.

But being happy as a mom doesn’t mean sailing through motherhood.

It doesn’t mean having it all together or having the best kids.

It doesn’t mean never making mistakes.

And it’s not about perfection.

Being happy as a mom--experiencing the joy that motherhood can so freely give--is really about loving the mom that you are.

And it's about recognizing the magic that sometimes hides in the corners of the journey—in the feel of your baby’s sleepy head on your shoulder as you carry her through the grocery store pushing the cart with one hand, or in the quiet singing of your preschooler as he sits in the corner during his time-out, or in the smile of your eighteen-year-old as he walks across the stage to get his diploma that, after all the challenges he had in school, you weren’t sure he was going to get.

Because those kinds of moments—even though they’re sometimes sandwiched between a whole lot of stress—are filled with happiness.

They're filled with magic.

Who knew? :)


So what are some of the "who knews" you've discovered as a parent? What moments have brought you the most happiness along the way?

Share your thoughts in the comments, and feel free to add your URL to the list below so others can stop by your site and say hi. No post necessary. This is just a simple way for moms to meet moms and come alongside each other.

My eight-year-old's story about the birds that fell from the nest...

Last week, two baby birds fell out of their nest from under the eaves of our house.

They didn't seem hurt, so the kids and I got online and researched what to do.

It turned out to be quite the project.

In an effort to try to get the mama bird to come back and feed her babies (the nest was too high for us to put the birds back in), we made a "pretend" nest out of a basket and hung it from the swing set.

I explained to my kids that we couldn't keep the birds as pets, but that didn't stop them from looking for bugs to feed the babies until the mom bird returned. Which thankfully, she finally did.

The whole thing was all very exciting.

And educational.

My son even asked if he could write about it, so he could send an email to his friends.

Here's what he wrote:


Today, I had a friend over and we noticed that a babby bird fell out of the bird nest from the top of our house. I asked my mom to look up how to care for birds and it said to feed them every 15-20 min. or they will die. We made a nest for the bird and took care of it.

After that I went outside to check on it and I found another one. I was scared it had a Brocken legg. So I figgerd how to pick him up without herting him. I put them both in a basket, then I went to go find some food for them.

Well that worked for acopple of ours but after that all of the slugs and snales went into the boushes so we coulden’t feed the birds. But it was alrite because my sister saw the mom feed them for the first time. And the ether one didnt rilly have a broken legg. But we still have to feed it because the mom bird only comes every 40 min. so it works out great! It gives us anouf time todo some work, laze around, and have some fun.


I'm not kidding when I say my kids spent an entire day in the backyard watching those birds, working and "lazing" and having fun.

They set a timer every twenty minutes to check on the babies.

They dug tirelessly for slugs and worms.

They hid quietly and watched, waiting for the mama bird to come back.

They named the birds Chuckles and Tibbles.

They even took pictures...






Unfortunately, though--we think because it got a little cold at night--the birds didn't make it.

And after many tears and goodbyes, and another animal funeral, my son sadly added this ending to his story:


Well it terns out one of the birds got to cold and passed away at night.

Then the ether one past away.

But it was a privlage to take care of 2 of Gods birds!


I love getting a peek at my kids' perspectives like that.

And I have to tell you, the privilege was actually all mine.

Because it was a pretty cool thing to watch my kids give of themselves and genuinely care for another living creature.

No matter how small. :)

Laughter: It's Good Medicine for Moms

Welcome to Mom-Monday.

I'm glad you're here!

We've all heard that laughter is good medicine.

But sometimes mommy-hood is serious business, right? After all, we have to keep everyone organized and on schedule. We have to make sure everything gets done. There are kids to raise, for gosh sakes.

Don’t get me wrong; I love a good laugh. But I’m the first to admit, sometimes I forget to find the humor in the middle of parenting. Sometimes I forget to be silly. Or play.

Doing cannon-balls in the pool or running around on the grass aren’t exactly the first two things I think of when I go in the backyard. What I usually think of is watering the plants, or sweeping the patio, or getting something accomplished.

Mike's usually the one to wrestle with the kids on the floor and start pillow fights.

And I’m usually the one telling them to be careful or somebody will get hurt.

But being a mom can do that to us...

Don’t run.

Quiet down.

Sit still.

Be gentle.

Chew well.

Play nice.

Wash your hands.

Be careful…

How many of you hear yourself in those words?

Why is it that becoming a mom can suddenly make us so serious?

There’s no way around it: we need to laugh more.

It's good for us.

In fact, a recent study at the University of Maryland Medical Center found that laughter may actually help prevent heart disease. Other studies have found that it not only reduces stress, it also boosts our immune system and reduces pain. And, for those of you who don’t like to exercise, get this: laughter has even been found to be equivalent to small amounts of exercise because it massages internal organs in the body. Who knew!

So here's a little tidbit I hope will get you some "exercise" today...

Last week, I laughed out loud at one of Julie Carr's blog posts where she shared some pictures she'd found on her cell phone that her daughter had taken without her knowing. It was super cute, and obvious that her daughter has a great sense of humor.

Just a couple days later, I looked at my cell phone to find this as my new wallpaper:

In case you don't recognize it, it's a picture of that character from MAD...



with my daughter's faced pasted into it.

Off the wall, I know, but I started cracking up. I couldn't help it.

And when I told her I loved the wallpaper, she proudly showed me more.

Like the one of her brother, the Mona Lisa:



And the monkey:

(Which totally explains why he spends so much time climbing on the swing set and screeching around the house.)

She even created some shots of me, but I decided not to post them because, honestly, they were more scary than funny. Trust me.

See, when she was taking pictures on my phone the other day, and telling me to "look serious, Mommy," or, "look like a monkey," I just did. I was part-listening to her, part-watching my son practice soccer, and part-trying to balance my leg (which is in a brace) on a water thermos so I could keep it elevated. I didn't know she was pasting the pictures into those backgrounds until afterwards.

But I'm glad she's so creative and tech-savvy.

And I'm keeping that picture of her as my wallpaper.

Because I still laugh every time I look at it.

And that's something I want to do more of. :)

So what about you? Has being a mom made you more serious or not? Do you have any funny mom-moments to share? I'd love to hear from you...

*credits: image backgrounds courtesy FantasyLens, Monkey by Suneko of Flickr.com, licensed under Creative Commons License 2.0.

Introducing...

We've all heard the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder.

And I'm here to tell you that it does.

When my husband was in India for ten days recently, I missed him more than I can put into words.

Especially because of the whole arm and leg thing.

But he's back.

And I'm happy.

And I realized some of you don't even know him yet--this awesome guy I'm married to.

So let me introduce you...

Mike, these are some really great people.

And really great people, this is Mike...



(That's a picture of us at a restaurant on Mother's Day. Pre-cast. Pre-wheel chair. Pre-electric scooter.)



(And that's a picture of us when we went to San Francisco a couple of months ago.)

We've been married fourteen years, but we've been together for twenty three.

High school sweethearts.

Soul mates.

Best friends.

So there you go.

Now you know who I'm talking about when I say my husband, or Mike, or the best dad in the whole world. :)

Talk soon,

The First Mom Monday

I'm a whole lot better at mommy-hood with others by my side.

Others like you.

So here's what I'm thinking...

I mentioned before that I've been writing a book for moms. One of the things that inspired me to do this was the encouragement I saw among moms in the blogging world...

One mom would post about her child being sick, and she'd be flooded with words of hope and comfort. Another mom would post about the birth of her newest baby, and she'd be showered with congratulations.

I love when people come alongside each other like that.

We moms need it.

And I want to do something around here that will spread more of that encouragement.

Which is why I'm starting what I'll call Mom Mondays.

At the beginning of every week, I'll post something related to mommy-hood, with the hope that it will entertain, inspire, or encourage you as a mom. It might be a personal story, a parenting article, a tip or idea, or it might be a guest post or feature about one of you. (In fact, if you have a mom-tale or mom-tip you'd like to share, email me and let's talk.)

I'd love it if you'd spread the word about this to others, too.

And let's make this interactive. Comment and share your thoughts, a story, or your heart. And stop back by so you can chime in again and we can bounce things off each other.

If you're not a mom (or if you're a dad), you're more than welcome to join in. You never know what comment or story, what thought or idea, will inspire who, whether you're a parent or not.

So...

To kick things off this week, I thought I'd share something that happened to me not too long ago. Even though it starts off sounding like a story about cooking for kids, it's not. It's really a story about how the words of one person can make a difference in the life of a mom...

You might remember I posted about my picky eaters a while ago. Not long after that, I came up with a plan to try to help the situation.

Every week, my son and daughter are responsible for going through our recipe books, picking out one meal each that they think sounds good, then being the “head cook” for that meal during the week.

The plan has meant setting aside time to help them read through cookbooks.

And it's meant longer trips to the store.

And a messier kitchen on the nights they cook.

But it’s also meant finding some dinners that they really like. And that they probably wouldn’t have tried so cheerfully if they weren’t the ones who'd picked them out and cooked them.

A little while after we started doing this, we all went to Starbucks one morning. We brought a couple of cookbooks with us because we were heading to the grocery store afterwards and needed to pick out what we were going to make that week.

My kids flipped through the pages, looking at the pictures, asking questions, and deciding.

And deciding.

And deciding.

Until finally, they made their choices.

“Good job,” I told them, "These are going to be tasty." I marked the pages and groaned inside as I scanned the long list of ingredients. Because even though the new plan was helping to expand my kids' tastes, it was turning out to be a lot of work.

And that's when the woman at the table next to us stood up and came over.

She put her hand on my shoulder and leaned down. “You’re a good mom,” she said.

I smiled, confused. "Thanks."

“Is this something you do all the time, with the cookbooks?”

I didn’t know she’d heard us. I explained to her what we'd started with the meals.

"I think that's great," she said. Then again, "You're a good mom."

I could barely respond.

Honestly, I felt like I might start crying.

Her compliment meant a lot to me.

Because it was affirmation that sometimes the more time-consuming choice or the more inconvenient choice for us as moms is the best choice for our kids.

And because, sometimes, when we're wondering if all the effort we put into things is worth it, we need to be reminded that it is.

I was thankful for that woman's kind words that morning, and for the fact that she took the time to come over to me.

Because it made a difference.

It really did.

So how about you?

Has there been a time when the compliment or affirmation of another person made a difference for you?

Or was there a time you were able to encourage another mom?

I'd love to hear about it...

A Whole Bunch of Firsts...

It’s been a while.

I’ve missed being here.

When I decided to take a break from blogging, I had no idea how long I’d be "away". I needed to revise my young-adult novel, and sometimes revisions are quick.

But sometimes they’re not.

This time they weren’t.

Partly because, in addition to working on my novel and other writing projects, I was inspired to write a non-fiction book for moms. One thing led to another, and the next thing I knew, I had a 163 page manuscript that I'm now polishing.

But life is funny that way sometimes—you plan on doing one thing, and another thing happens that sort of changes your plan.

Which is kind of how my summer's been so far.

I’d planned on kicking it off swimming with the kids, seeing friends, and going on a few short trips.

Instead, I've started it off in a wheelchair.

In two separate, random falls (I still can’t believe it), I broke my arm and tore my knee.

All in the course of one week.

And all when my husband had to travel to India on business for ten days.

I've had a whole bunch of firsts lately…

My first broken bone.

My first set of crutches (that I ended up not being able to use because of my arm).

My first wheelchair (that I ended up getting because I couldn’t use the crutches. And which our cat seems to like.)

And my first ride in one of those electric scooters at Target.




It’s been a learning experience, too…

I’ve learned how to blow dry my hair and put my makeup on with my left hand (I'm still having mascara issues).

I've learned how to go up and down the stairs using one arm and one leg.

I’ve learned how to type with my cast on.

And—maybe the hardest part for me—I've learned how to accept help from others, because I’ve needed it.

I know what I’ve been going through is small compared to what some people endure.

Tiny, even.

I’ll be honest, though—as someone who usually runs around at full speed and is very independent—it’s been hard having life come to a sudden halt.

But it’s been one of those blessings-in-disguise, too.

I’ve had family and friends staying with me and helping, which has given us some great time together. And I’ve had more time with my kids, too.

And even though I've had my share of melt-downs and tears, I've also had some good laughs. Mostly at myself. Like when I wiped a dot of mustard off my plate with a finger on my right hand, went to lick my finger, and realized I couldn't get it to my mouth because of my cast.

A lot has happened on my little break from blogging…

Spot and Blackberry—the mice that brought us so many adventures—died not too long ago, within a few days of each other. It was hard on the kids, but they felt better after the funeral, complete with music and eulogies and a lavish burial.




I’ve also been fortunate enough to be able to write for some great sites, like PluggedinParents and MothersClick. And I was asked to participate on a conference call with Maria Shriver about her WeConnect campaign in California. She’s an inspiring woman with a true passion for what she does, and I was honored to write an online exclusive about her campaign. I put together my Web site too, which has some writing resources and links to check out if you're interested.

But I’m rambling.

I guess I’m just glad to be back.

I don’t know what my posting schedule will be yet. It depends on a lot of things, like if I end up having knee surgery or not.

But I’ll be around.

And I hope you will too. I'm looking forward to doing some fun things around here. :)

Talk soon,

Where my heart is...

If you’ve been reading here for a while, you know I haven’t exactly had a regular posting schedule. I've written posts here and there, depending on my other writing deadlines and life in general. Which has included setting aside time to work on my book manuscripts.

But lately, especially because I'm working outside of the house a day or two a week, I’ve realized that one of the manuscripts I’ve poured my heart into the most is being neglected...

It’s my young-adult novel, sitting in my desk drawer upstairs.

The story that took me over a year to write.

The story about a girl who descends into a battle with an eating disorder and then finds her way out of it.

The story that, some days, I wrote through tears in my eyes.

Because it’s a story that was inspired by my own struggle with self-image and food when I was in college.

I often “hear” the manuscript calling to me—the girl, the struggle, the triumph.

And for weeks now, I’ve wanted to pull it out of the drawer, work on revisions, and send it out to a publisher or an agent.

But there hasn’t been time.

Which is why I need to make the time.

And take a break from my blog.

Because as much as I'd like to "do it all", thanks to My One Month, I realize that right now, I need to prioritize. And follow my heart.

I need to follow it upstairs to that desk drawer.

To that story.

About that girl.

I don’t know how long I'll be "gone" because writing is just that way… sometimes revisions are quick, and sometimes they're not.

If you haven’t subscribed to my blog yet, please enter your email or click on “subscribe” in the right-hand column before you leave. That way, you’ll know when my next post is up. I'll also be putting up a few links / articles, and possibly some of my previous posts, while I'm "away", so you'll get those too. And I'll always try to respond to comments and email. :)

I have some fun ideas about what I want to do around here when I’m back. And I have a bunch of posts that I want to write.

Like the one about what I found in my purse last week.

And the one about my daughter and her mouse at the piano.

But for now, I'm off to work on the novel that's been tugging at my heart.

Wish me luck, and be sure and stop by 5 Minutes for Mom’s Faith Lifts on Fridays to say hi. :)

Bedtime prayers and...sandwiches?

I know I’m not the most talented cook in the world, but I do make a mean sandwich.

Just ask my husband.

I've been making them for him since we were in high school together. My parents had a family business when I was growing up, and we had delis in a couple of the stores.

You name it, I can make it... hot pastrami, French dip, turkey and avocado, salami with the works…

But don't ask my son about the salami sandwiches.

Because apparently he won't agree that they're any good.

The other night when we were saying bedtime prayers together, this is what he said:

"Dear God,

Thank you for my mom and dad and sister and Spot and Blackberry and everything else. Please help Lady up in Heaven. And please don’t have my mom make that kind of sandwich in my lunch ever again.

Amen."

I’m joining in with Rocks in My Dryer’s Works-for-Me-Wednesday, because saying bedtime prayers with my kids is something that works for me.

Just like when they write on their whiteboards, it gives me a glimpse into their hearts.

And I love being able to hear what they're thinking, or hoping for.

Even if it’s just that they don't want me to make them salami sandwiches anymore. :)

What I've Learned...

Thank you to everyone who participated in My One Month! I loved reading all your posts and comments, and I was inspired by your stories and what you shared.

By the end of this week, I’ll select one (or more) post to put up here for a little while. I’ll also forward the post(s) to the authors of One Month to Live for consideration to use on their website. If you haven't had a chance to read some of the "One Month" stories that people have written, take a few minutes to check them out here. You won't be disappointed.

It's been an awesome, put-it-all-in-perspective month for me. I've learned so many things...

I’ve learned to worry less and pray more.

I’ve learned, when my daughter says, “I want a long hug, Mommy,” to hold on until she lets go. Even if it’s late at night. Or even if I’m in a hurry.

I’ve learned to have more fun.

And say yes more often.

I’ve learned, as a parent, that even though I’ll make plenty of mistakes, the only thing that really matters is if my kids know, at the end of each day, how much I love them.

I’ve learned how much peace my faith brings me.

And I’ve learned how much my relationships with my family and friends matter.

I’ve learned to take more risks.

And doubt myself less.

And I’ve learned to let things like the laundry sit there, undone, while my kids and I read together, or play a game, or go outside.

Even though it sounds ironic, in the middle of one of the busiest months ever--with a new position and writing deadlines and a full schedule--I’ve learned to be more disciplined about taking time for myself and others. And prioritizing.

It’s been a month of focus and change for me. And even though I definitely don’t "have it all figured out”, I’m thankful for the way this month—and the way this book—has affected me.

Because I don’t think a day will go by from now on where I won’t stop and ask myself, “If I really had one month to live...?”

And if I can continue to look at relationships, decisions, and priorities from a “One Month” perspective, then I know, no matter how many months I have left of this life I’ve been given, I won’t have any regrets when it's over. :)

A Day to Give

When I saw this challenge over at We Are THAT Family, I was excited...

Not only did it tug at my heartstrings, but it also ties into what I've been trying to focus on for My One Month. I couldn’t wait to help someone and then write about it.

I thought about how I might be able to make a difference. There are so many needs out there, and so many great organizations and causes...

Everywhere I went, I kept an eye out. I didn't want to miss an opportunity to give. And while I looked for a need around me, I did other things...

Like help in my kids' classrooms.

And volunteer with my daughter at a luncheon at our church.

And make a donation to breast cancer research when the person at the checkout stand asked if I wanted to contribute.

And send a check for the little girl we sponsor in Uganda through REACH.

Please don't think I'm telling you these things to pat myself on the back or to list them as my "acts of giving".

I'm sharing them because, honestly, the things I did seemed small. I still wanted to help with a "big need" out there. A need where I could really give.

Then I drove through the neighborhood and saw a neighbor watering the lawn of a house nearby. A house that wasn't his. The people who lived there had moved out, and this neighbor was going out of his way to keep the lawn from dying.

And I got to thinking...

Just like I’m realizing more and more that it's the little things that truly matter in life, it’s also the little opportunities to give, when acted on, that can make a big difference.

Opportunities like watering that lawn.

And making that donation.

And helping at our kids' schools.

And bringing someone flowers.

It's living life with open hands and giving freely, not only in situations where you can make a big impact, but also in everyday circumstances where you can help out and touch lives in ways you may never know.

Thank you Kristen for this challenge and for reminding me to "keep a lookout" every day for the needs of others, big and small.


From the book One Month to Live:

"Whether it's through our churches, our schools, our companies, our neighborhoods, or our families, we're called to come together to help others."

A Fun Way to Slow Down as a Family...

In today’s fast-paced world, it can be especially challenging to set aside quality family time. Wouldn't it be great if you could push a pause button on the clock and create more time with the ones you love?

Looking at old pictures together, or watching home videos or DVD’s, can help you do just that.

There's something about taking the time to reflect on the past that helps you to slow down and forget about your to-do list.

Remembering birthdays, holidays, and vacations spent with family and friends can put your focus back on what really matters and give you a new appreciation for the special moments you've shared.

My kids and I did this just the other day. It was such a sweet thing to watch a video of my son, back when he was two, singing a Veggie Tales song into the camera. And it made me smile when my daughter turned to him and said, as she watched too, “Look how cute you are!”

We must’ve sat there for an hour “Awwwing” at all the memories we've shared. And when we were done, I was more thankful than ever for our special times together--including the time we'd just spent watching them.

So the next time you feel overwhelmed by the how fast time is flying or how busy you are, pull your kids up next to you on the couch, pop in a DVD from when they were younger, or get out those old photo albums or CDs, and take a walk down memory lane. Not only can it help you slow down as a family and appreciate each other more, it can also create a slice of quality time well spent.

*Originally written for Beautiful Fabulous online magazine.


***


I thought I'd share this article today and join in Rocks in My Dryer's works-for-me Wednesday because, especially as I continue with My One Month, spending more quality time with my family is definitely something that works for me! :)


From the book One Month to Live:

"People who discover that their time is limited often make radical lifestyle changes. They give up workaholism and slow down the pace of their lives, spending time with loved ones, with God, and alone, reflecting on their lives. They relinquish the pursuit and collection of material possessions and finally enjoy the fullness of what they already have."

There's a Moose in Our House

And there's this, too...




A big, round, pink-igloo fort that my kids made out of umbrellas.

And when they asked if they could leave it up for “a little while”, I let them...

in the front room of the house,

the first room you see when you walk in the door,

in spite of the fact that "a little while" turned into a week,

and friends and neighbors even stopped by.

Because you know what?

I'm learning that the house doesn’t always have to be matchy-matchy and perfect. In fact, it’s a whole lot more fun when you have a pink igloo in the front room. It makes for some good conversation.

But, back to the moose.

There is one in our house.

The game, that is.






And we’ve been playing it a lot lately.

Because with this whole “One Month” thing, I’ve been trying to create more fun moments. Moments like swimming in our socks and sitting in massage chairs.

Moments that are unforgettable.

It’s been a blast.

The other day, my son and I fenced with Star Wars light sabers until we were sweaty. I learned some pretty smooth moves and ended up getting a good workout, too.

And remember when I told you my daughter stood up through the sunroof of our car when we were parked in the parking lot?

Well, I’m proud to say I've officially let loose. A couple of weeks ago, I drove home from the mailbox at the end of our court with her standing through the sunroof. Drove. With the car moving. You should've seen the smile on her face.

And speaking of smiling, I had a lot of fun doing that at the gym the other day…

As I rode the exercise bike, instead of burying my head in a book like I usually do, I decided I'd smile and say hi to every person who turned the corner. It was fun to see the look of surprise on so many faces, and to get so many smiles back.

And through all of this, I’m learning more and more that having fun each day—having fun in life for that matter—is so much about just making it happen.

That’s something I plan to do a whole lot more of. :)

What Really Matters?

All you have to do is watch the news for a few minutes to be reminded of the difficulties that many people around the world are facing right now. And with everything that's going on, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed or discouraged.

Which is why I wanted to take a minute to share this quote from the book One Month to Live:

"When all is said and done, relationships are all that really matter. It doesn't matter how much money we have, where we live, or how many beautiful toys we've collected. None of these can comfort us, console us, cry with us, or love us. Our investment in the people we care about is the only legacy that has the power to endure beyond our lifetime."

I'm thankful for the reminder about what really matters. And I'm thankful for the inspiration I've gotten from many of you who've joined me in "My One Month".

I loved hearing from Joyful, who commented on one of my posts and said, "This past week has been special for me, as I've embraced all of life and said 'yes' to impromptu opportunities." She also reminded me about Tim McGraw's song, "Live Like You Were Dying". It talks about making the most of your time, and is definitely worth a listen...




Ronel at Mommy Accountability has taken "My One Month" a step further and is posting about it almost daily. She recently commented, "If I were to leave today, I know my son would remember the last three days for the rest of his life. We took time as a family this weekend instead of getting wrapped up in running errands and cleaning the house. I finally realized the time I took to teach my son new things was worth more than me taking time to get a pedicure. Life is so short that we need to stop focusing on the things we can't take with us and start focusing on the values, beliefs and memories we will leave behind."

Thanks for sharing, Ronel! I've been having a lot of fun with my kids lately too, but I'll tell you about that in my next post.

And here's something else that inspired me:

Even though Wendi at Everyday Miracles didn't write this post as a part of "My One Month", I think it fits perfectly. I love the way she describes "the journey" and the choices she made.

If you want more inspiration, you can click to find links to all the great posts that have been written so far for"My One Month". If you haven't commented and shared your thoughts yet, don't leave today without doing that. I know there are a lot of "silent visitors" out there and I'd love to hear from you. How has thinking about all of this affected you? Have you made any decisions or changes as a result?

And whether or not you're participating, let's all take time today to look for someone who may need a helping hand, a phone call, or a visit. You might be the very one who can keep that person from feeling hopeless and give them the encouragement they need during hard times.

"The measure of a life, after all, is not its duration, but its donation." --Corrie Ten Boom

Making Each Moment Count...

Looking at life from a "One Month" perspective has really made me think about the decisions I make every day. And I’m realizing more and more that it’s often the littlest choices that can have the greatest impact.

Like the other night with my son...

It had been a busy night and my husband was working late. I'd been rushing around making an early dinner and helping the kids with their homework before heading off to take my daughter to cheer practice.

On the way home from dropping her off, I looked at the time and sighed. It was already 7:30pm and I still had a lot to do…

“Mom?” my son asked as we drove into our neighborhood. “Since it’s just you and me, can we go for a walk when we get home?”

I looked at the darkening sky. It was a school night, and he still had to take a shower and finish his reading homework and…

I was about to say no.

But then I stopped and thought, If I really had one month to live, would I pass this up?

It’s not often that my son and I go for walks together, just the two of us.

So I changed my mind.

“Sure,” I told him.

As we headed out, there was only a faint line of sunlight left on the horizon. The neighborhood was quiet and the air was warm. It was beautiful.

My son looked up at me and smiled. “Thanks for saying yes about the walk, Mom. I thought for sure you were gonna say no.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and smiled back. "You're welcome."

And I thought, how many times do I miss opportunities like this and not even realize it?

We headed across the park to the school playground. “C’mon!” he called, running ahead of me, “Let’s find a ball!” (There are usually one or two left over from the school day.) A couple of sprinklers were running and the grass was soaked. He ran across it anyway.

Not the grass, I groaned inside. It’s wet…

But I kept my mouth shut. Because if this was my last month, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t care if he got muddy.

“Look!” he called a few seconds later, proudly pulling a ball out of the bushes. He splashed back across the grass, beaming. “I’m gonna teach you how to play wall ball, Mom.”

He served the ball hard, sending it sailing. It hit the wall and bounced back toward me.

Let me just say that, as someone who usually closes my eyes when a ball is flying at me (and hopes it lands elsewhere) it took a little effort to jump in and hit that wet thing and act like I was having fun.

But that’s what I did.

And before I knew it, I was having fun.

Back and forth, we played. Our wrists and arms (and my t-shirt) got filthy. But I didn’t care. What I cared about was the smile on my son’s face. And the sound of his laughing.

After a few minutes, he stopped and held the ball on his hip. “Okay, Mom. Now I’m gonna teach you my specialties,” he said. I never knew that there were so many different kinds of serves in wall ball. Or that hitting the ball up over the wall is called a tree-top.

By the end of the night, I felt like a pro. And I might’ve even impressed my son a little because when we were done, he asked, “Did you play this when you were a kid?”

We had a great time together, and I'll never forget it.

I hope he doesn’t either.

And even though he ended up getting to bed late that night, and he was tired the next day, it was worth it.

I’ve already decided that the next time either of my kids asks me to go for a spur-of-the-moment-walk, I’m going to say yes without a second thought.

And who knows, maybe I’ll even surprise them and ask them first.


From the book One Month to Live:

“Time once spent cannot be reclaimed. Once an hour, minute, or moment is over, it’s gone forever. However, we can redeem the remaining time we have.”

And a quote by Diane Ackerman… “I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.”


---


Congratulations to the winners of the autographed copies of One Month to Live! They are: comment #7: Sandy Toes at Shell In Your Pocket and comment #16: Laura at Storytellin' Mama. Email me with your address so I can have the books sent your way!

Thanks to all of you who commented and who are participating in "My One Month". If you haven't joined in yet, you can at any time. I look forward to reading more posts and comments!

What if...you had one month to live?

I’m reading the New York Times bestseller One Month to Live by Kerry and Chris Shook and I’ve been asking myself that question a lot lately.

If I had one month to live, what would I spend more time on? Or less?

How would my perspective change?

The book has inspired me to look at life in a whole new way, and to really try to make each day count. It's helped me to focus on what truly matters.

In fact, seeing everything through “One Month” lenses has impacted me so much that I wanted to share it.

I’ve heard it said that if you do something for thirty days, it can become a habit. So for the next month, I’ll be hosting what I’m calling “My One Month”—focusing on living life in a way that if I did find out I had a month to live, I’d have no regrets.

I’ll be blogging about my journey and would love for you to join me.

Just ask yourself the question--what if I had only one month to live? Then write about it. Your post can be as simple as a list of things you’d like to do, or it can be about something that happens as a result of looking at life from a “One Month” viewpoint.

If you don’t have a blog, you can still participate. Simply stop by throughout the month and comment to share your ideas and stories.

I contacted the authors of One Month to Live, and they offered to send me a couple of autographed copies of their book to give away. So to kick this off, leave a comment on this post for a chance to win. (I’ll be randomly selecting the two winners from the comments and will announce them on Friday, October 3rd.)

The authors will also be considering a couple of your posts and/or comments for publication on their website. (Read the details below to see how this will work.)

Like the book says, living a no-regrets life isn’t about focusing on the fact that we’re all going to die someday.

It’s about choosing to live in a way that makes each moment matter.

And that’s something worth doing.

Don’t you think?


Here are more details about how to join me in “My One Month”:

Grab this button:

<a href="http://www.mycup2yours.com" target="blank"><img src="http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/nn5/ghikes/blog/myonemonth150button.jpg" height="150px" width="150px" alt="My One Month hosted by My Cup 2 Yours" /></a>

Write your own “My One Month” post any time from September 29th - October 27th. (Again, if you don’t have a blog, comment to share your story.)

Link up. After you’ve written your post and linked here, come sign the Mr. Linky box below. (When this post is no longer at the top of my blog, I’ll have a link that will get you back here and to Mr. Linky. So whether you want to write something now or later in the month, you can come back at any time and add your name/URL.)

As I blog about “My One Month” and read your posts and comments, I’ll be linking to some of my favorites so that others can read them as well.

After October 27th, I’ll be selecting one or two posts/comments to put up on my blog for a few days, as well as forwarding them on to the authors of One Month to Live for their consideration. (Note: This isn’t a writing contest; it’s just a matter of sharing your heart and your experiences.)

Spread the word and tell your friends about this. The more people we have joining in, the more I think we’ll all be inspired and encouraged by each other’s stories.

And I hope, by focusing for a month on making the most of the lives we’ve been given, that the impact will last forever.

Laughing and wedgies and something about Monday...

I heard on the radio recently that adults laugh an average of 15 times a day, while kids laugh an average of 400 times a day. And while this makes me happy that kids are having so much fun, it makes me sad that maybe us adults aren't.

So I thought I'd share a comment I got from Mandy, at Discursively Happy, since it had me literally cracking up. In response to my post about the red balloon in my kitchen, Mandy said...

That is funny! I have a fear of helium balloons because one night I was getting ready for bed and all the lights were out and I saw what looked like a head a little shorter than me and I thought it was my son so I started talking to him and there wasn't any response so I started to panic and reach for the light with trembling hands just to see one of the kids' helium balloons floating in mid-air. It has freaked me out enough that I don't allow balloons at my house after dark. Crazy huh!

Thanks for the laugh, Mandy! I loved it!

And here's another thing that cracked me up...

I was driving to Target with my son yesterday, and he was reading a book in the back seat.

I looked in the rear-view mirror and smiled. "I'm so glad you like reading,” I told him.

“Yeah," he looked up and smiled back. "This is the kind of book for me, Mom. It’s all about wedgies and underpants and stuff. Captain Underpants is probably going to be my specialty.”

Laughter is such good medicine, isn't it?

And here are a few other good things...

Does anyone like jewelry? Kristen at Kristen's Custom Creations designs the most creative and beautiful pieces. I bought this necklace from her not too long ago and hardly ever take it off...



(In fact, if you read my post "Funny How Things Happen", you can see the necklace in the picture.) Kristen has a blog too, so pop on by and tell her hi.

While I'm on the subject of great gals, I want to thank Stephanie at Metropolitan Mama for her mention in Tuesday Tours. If you haven't had a chance to stop by Stephanie's site, make sure you do. She always has valuable information and insights, and her Tuesday Tours are a great way to see what's happening on the web.

And here's another blogging resource that I think is awesome: ProgBlogger. I subscribe to his feed and am always impressed with the quality of tips and information that he shares.

On a different topic, I have to let you know that I love change. So if you see some color or background changes around here, it's just me having fun. I've learned just enough (thanks to Shera at Sweet N Simple Designs, who is wonderful, and who works closely with the people she designs sites for) to be able to make a few modifications to my blog. And since I’m one of those people who gets excited about moving furniture around just to see it in a different spot, you may notice some changes here, depending on the season. Or the weather. Or maybe even my mood. :)

Last, BUT NOT LEAST, I'm launching something that I'm really excited about on Monday, so be sure to stop by and check it out.

Happy weekend, everyone!

Five Gift Giving Ideas for Any Time of Year

Everybody likes to get gifts, but it can be even more fun when you are the one doing the giving.

Here are five ideas that can help you to make someone else's day, any time of year:

1. Make it a surprise. Don’t just give gifts on holidays, birthdays, or anniversaries. Surprise your husband with a framed portrait of you and the kids…just because. Or buy your sister a bag of her favorite coffee the next time you’re getting a mocha. Sometimes when gifts are given “out of the blue” they have the most impact.

2. Make it homemade. Who doesn’t love something that’s been made just for them? Putting time, thought, and effort into making a gift can say a lot to the person you're giving it to. And sites like this can provide some easy homemade gift ideas.

3. Make it personal. Personalization can add an extra touch to any item, whether it's a blanket, a jewelry box, or a bracelet. You can find a variety of personalized products at places like this.

4. Make it unique. Everybody loves the not-so-common gift. And sites like this have some really fun and unique ideas.

5. Make a difference. Give a gift that helps others. One of the most meaningful gifts I ever got was from a friend who donated a goat to a family in Africa in my name. Visit organizations like this to see how you can honor someone in your life by giving donations to needy families around the world in their name.

And when you make a difference, not only in the life of someone you love, but in the lives of others, that may end up being the greatest gift of all.

*originally written for / posted at Beautiful Fabulous online magazine.


***


Since the holidays are right around the corner (can you believe it?), let's share some ideas...

Do you have any fun suggestions for giving?

What's the most memorable gift you've been given?


p.s. I mentioned last week that I'm launching something around here soon. Just a quick update that I'm working on the final details and should have it ready in a week or two. I'm really looking forward to it!

And then she said, "I think I'm falling in love with rodents..."

The other day, my daughter and I went to the pet store to get some food for the mice. While we were there, we made our normal rounds, stopping by to say hi to the parakeets, the rats, the hamsters, the chinchilla, the snakes, the lizards, the turtles, the fish, and, yes, even the tarantula.

After we got the food, she turned to me and asked, “When our mice are gone, do you think I should get a rat or a bird?”

“I’m not so sure we’ll get anything,” I told her. With all the animal adventures we’ve had lately, two cats, a fish, and two mice are enough for me, thankyouverymuch.

She looked at me with sad eyes.

“But Mommy, we have to get more pets when Spot and Blackberry are gone because my heart will be broken.”

(How do you say no to that?)

“We’ll just have to wait and see.” I hoped that would satisfy her.

She smiled. And then she looked at me and said, "I think I’m falling in love with rodents.”

“Rodents?”

She nodded. “When I saw those rats' faces, I just fell in love with them. Did you see their tails and how long and cute they were?”

Let me just stop here for a second. I know this may give some of you the creeps, but I had pet rats growing up and I loved them.

However.

When I was a kid, my dad built a custom cage for the rats and we kept them outside.

I don’t know how to build custom cages. Nor does my husband. And besides, somehow rats don't look as cute to me anymore as they used to.

“If I get a rat, I’m going to get a boy rat…” my daughter continued.

Let me stop again. Nothing against boy rats, but we got a male mouse before we got the female ones, and it didn’t quite work out. On account of the fact that he was very focused on marking his territory inside his cage. Every square inch. Every five seconds. It wasn't pleasant.

“And I’m going to name my boy rat Tigger…”

I listened to my daughter and thought about how, if we got a rat, we’d have to get a bigger cage, and we’d have bigger messes, and my son would probably end up wanting a rat, too…

And that’s when I snapped to my senses.

“If we get anything after the mice, it’s probably going to be more mice, Honey.”

She looked at me with sad eyes again. “But, why?”

“Because if we get a rat we’d have to get a whole new cage and everything.”

“Say house, Mommy! Never say cage. They don’t live in a cage. That’s mean. They live in their house!”

And that’s when I realized she really does love rodents.

But I guess I should be glad that at least rodents are small. Unlike this alpaca (I’m not kidding) that we saw going into the store when we came out:





And now I’m holding my breath, hoping that seeing that didn't give my daughter any new pet ideas…

Funny How Things Happen...

Not long ago, Joanne from Blessed and I realized we live near each other.

We had met through our blogs, so discovering we were both in the same area was fun and coincidental.

Needless to say, we decided we had to get together.

We met for coffee (of course) and had a great time talking about writing and blogging and family. She's so much fun, and I felt like I'd known her for a long time. Here’s a picture of us at Starbucks that morning:

It’s funny how sometimes people come into your life, or things happen, and you know it's meant to be.

Like the position I recently got at a publishing company. If I hadn’t run into somebody I hadn’t seen in years (at a different Starbucks a few weeks ago), the opportunity wouldn’t have presented itself. But I’m glad it did, and I’m really excited to be embarking on some new activities.

And though I'll be working in my new role a couple of days a week, and balancing that with my other writing, you’re not getting rid of me. :)

I'll still be posting, and I’ll be launching something around here soon that I’m really excited about.

So please keep coming back, and bear with me as I transition. I love your comments and the sense of community you’ve all helped to build, and I know that’s something that hasn’t happened by chance… it’s happened by you taking the time to stop by, read, and share a little bit of yourself.

And I appreciate that more than I can say.

The Big, Bad, Red Thing in my Kitchen...

I sat there at the kitchen table, hunched over my keyboard, finishing an article I was working on. The house was quiet, except for the sound of the ceiling fan, some soft music, and water trickling in the fountain on my counter.

A few minutes into my writing, I heard a noise…

Clink. Clink.

I stopped and looked around, but didn’t see anything.

Thinking the sound must’ve been part of the music, I shrugged and went back to writing.

But then I heard it again...

Clink. Clink.

I paused and listened harder.

Was the fridge making noise?

Was it my kids’ mice?

I got up and checked their cage, but the mice were sound asleep.

I sat back down to type.

And heard it again...

Clink.

I have to admit, at that point, I got a little creeped-out.

Slowly, I got up and checked to make sure the front door was locked. Then I went back into the kitchen and began walking around, determined to get to the bottom of things.

And that's when I saw it....

the big,

bad...

red balloon with a shoehorn tied to the bottom of it.

Don’t ask what.

Or why.

Because I don’t know.

All I know is that it was another one of my son’s inventions, and the ceiling fan was blowing the balloon around on the tile, dragging the shoehorn with it.

Thus, the clinking noise.

I’m sure my son had a good reason for tying the shoehorn to the balloon.

Just like I'm sure he had a good reason for the tornado in the salad spinner. And the soap on the shower wall. And all the other creative things he comes up with.

And I should be thankful that he does.

Because life just wouldn't be as fun without tarantulas hanging from my steering wheel. Or red balloons scooting around my kitchen. :)

A Man Named Ted

There’s a man named Ted who lives in a Senior Home near our house.

I’ve only met him once, but he’s had a place in my heart ever since.

I first saw him about a year and a half ago, when I was out running errands.

I'd been driving by the Home and noticed him sitting out front, watching cars go by. As I drove past, I wondered what he was doing...

Was he waiting for a ride? Was someone coming to visit him?

A couple days later, I was on the same road, at about the same time, and there he was again--white haired, tall and thin. And all by himself.

Again, I wondered...

Did he have family? Or friends?

I thought about him the whole way home.

When I saw him again a few days later, I felt a pull to stop and talk to him--a pull so strong that I slowed down and turned into the parking lot after the next intersection, thinking I should go back. But when I looked at the clock, I realized I had only fifteen minutes to pick my son up from school.

I sighed and drove off, promising that next time I’d say hi.

Then I realized I didn’t have to wait until next time...

"Want to surprise someone today?" I asked my son when I picked him up.

I told him about my idea and the man I'd seen.

We went home and cut roses from our yard. I took the thorns off, and we made a bouquet. Then we drove back to the Home.

But when we got there, the man was gone.

I parked the car and we went inside, hoping to find him.

“Can I help you?” a woman asked as we walked in.

“This might sound strange,” I started nervously, “but I’m looking for a man who sits outside in the mornings, right out front. He’s tall and has white hair…”

“That sounds like Ted,” she said, smiling.

I pointed to the roses. “We wanted to give him these.”

"He was just here." She looked around the lobby.

"There he is," she said.

And I saw him by the stairs.

My son and I walked up to him. “Ted?” I asked.

He nodded.

“I see you in the mornings sometimes when I drive by here." I held out the bouquet. "We just wanted to give you these and say hi.”

Slowly, he took the roses, a look of surprise on his face.

"Thank you," he whispered.

Then he turned to my son and reached out his hand.

And I got a lump in my throat.

Because it’s beautiful to see the hand of a six-year-old child wrapped inside that of a ninety-or-so-year-old man.

He asked my son what his name was, and he thanked us again. We only stayed for a minute before saying goodbye.

But in that moment, Ted made his way into our hearts.

When my husband and I took our kids to the Home last Christmas to deliver some cards that they'd made, they walked up and down the halls looking for a door with the name Ted on it. When they found one, they picked out their favorite card and set it on the floor in front of the door.

And to this day, when I drive down that road, I look for Ted sitting outside.

The best part is, so do my kids.

I know that Ted might have a family that sees him often. And he might have friends that bring him flowers or send him cards.

But, then again, he might not.

Either way, I'm thankful I met him. Because it reminded me of the impact that reaching out to others can have. And the importance of caring about people we may not necessarily know.

And I’ll never forget the image of that man holding my son’s hand, or the smile on both of their faces that day.

---

p.s. I’m over at 5 Minute for Mom's Faith Lifts today. Stop on over and say hi...

Be Back in a Bit...

I'm working to meet a magazine deadline, so I won't be posting for a few days.

In the meantime, stop by Beautiful Fabulous to read my articles "A Fun Way to Slow Down as a Family" and "What does your blog say about you?" and to learn about some fun blog resources.

And stop on over at 5 Minutes for Mom's Faith Lifts to read "Give Away That Baggage".

See you soon!

p.s. My friend Shera at A Frog in My Soup (who also happens to be a great blog resource--Sweet N Simple Design) is currently looking for submissions to be featured in The Sampler over at 5 Minutes for Mom. If you're interested, please visit here for information and guidelines. I'm sure Shera would love to hear from you!

This Quiet House...

“What is a mother?”

That was the title of a poem my daughter wrote me last year. In the process of doing some cleaning-out this weekend, I happened upon it again.

“A mother is someone who takes care of people,” the first line read.

And, at a glance, that sentence made me sigh.

Yes. A mother does take care of people. All the time.

I read that and thought about things like cooking and doing laundry and cleaning up the house. And as much fun as I had with my kids last week, that sentence reminded me that I was ready for school to start so I'd have more time to write and get things done.

But here I am today, alone in the house.

And I’m thinking…

About my son—my youngest—who, as much as I can’t believe it, is in second grade. And about my daughter, now in fourth grade, on a new playground. In a much bigger class.

And I wonder why I was so ready to have them back in school.

I can faintly hear their recess bell ring a few blocks away. And I’m picturing them in their new classes...my son, thoughtful and a little shy until he gets to know you. And then he becomes silly.

And my daughter, sweet and eager and social. And a little too hard on herself.

I’m thinking about all the things they’ll learn as they grow. The good times they’ll have, and the challenges they’ll face.

And in these still moments without them--without the laughter and constant singing and running around--the house seems awfully quiet.

And it reminds me how fast time is flying.

As I type this, trying to see the keyboard through watery eyes, I think about that question in my daughter’s poem, “What is a mother?”…

And I’m struck by the awesome privilege of knowing the answer.

Because of those two precious kids.

And the gift of being their mom.

Swimming With Our Socks On...

This week was our last week before school starts. Because our summer has been so busy, I really wanted these last few days to be laid back and fun.

And they have been...

As I write this, my son is conducting an experiment in my salad spinner, mixing shampoo with water and swirling it around. And he just informed me that adding a pen cap, a string, and a piece of plastic into the mix makes an extra-powerful tornado.

Hmm.

My daughter, on the other hand, instead of putting the dishes away from the dishwasher, just finished building this:

And that’s pretty much how our week was, filled with one interesting art project…




After another…




I cleaned out my daughter’s room and moved her furniture around, too. And when she told me she wanted her bed at an angle almost in the middle of her room, I surprised myself and said… okay. It wasn’t the plan I had—her bed nice and tidy against the wall—but it’s cute. And she’s thrilled, which is what really matters.

And then a couple of days ago, when the kids asked if they could swim in their socks, I surprised myself again…




Hey, I even did a cannon-ball into the pool and got my hair wet. My son and daughter were so excited they practically drowned me. But to see their faces, and how happy they were, made the blow-drying-my-hair-all-over-again-in-the-middle-of-the-day worth it. (Which, by the way, isn’t vanity. It’s necessity. If you have hair that frizzes when it air-dries, you understand.)

It’s been a fun and off-the-wall and messy week.

I did things that I don’t normally do.

The house needs to be cleaned. And to be honest, I’m burnt-out on paint brushes and glue guns and projects.

But, you know what?

The week was as good for this scheduled, planned, to-do list nut as it was for my kids.

Probably even better.

Happy end-of-the-summer, everyone! :)


p.s. I’m over at 5 Minute for Mom’s Faith Lifts today. Stop on over to read In Search of Peace. And if you find yourself needing a pick-me-up most afternoons, but you don’t drink coffee because it would keep you awake at night, hop on over to Beautiful Fabulous to read why I think tea may be "The Perfect Afternoon Drink".

p.p.s. If your kids are anywhere between 2-6 years old, you may want to check out The Savvy Quiz widget on my sidebar. It’s sponsored by LeapFrog and links directly to a quiz at the Savvy Source website , which helps you figure out where your child is developmentally. Books and toys and free activities are recommended based on the results, and the quiz is getting great reviews.

Got a Compliment? Give it Away...

How many times do you notice something that you like or appreciate about somebody, but you don't tell them?

How many times does a compliment cross your mind, but not your lips?

That’s a question I asked myself this week.

I was in the locker room at the gym several days ago, and the woman standing next to me at the sink had a really cute shirt on.

I love that shirt, I thought.

I dried my hands and started to walk away, then realized, I should tell her that.

I stopped. “That’s such a cute shirt,” I said.

Her eyes brightened. “Thanks! I just got it.”

“It’s really pretty. I love the colors.”

“Thank you.” She smiled. I could tell she appreciated the compliment. And I was glad that I said something instead of hurrying out, not making the effort.

After that, I wondered how many times I do notice or appreciate things about others, but don’t say anything.

I vowed to try to be more aware of this.

All week, when I saw something I could compliment, I did. Not frivolously, saying I liked something when I didn’t, but actively trying to appreciate the qualities of others and letting them know.

Like the little boy at the store who did a great job holding the door open for me when I walked in.

And the teenager at the mall who made an extra effort to help my daughter when we were school shopping.

And the woman next to me at church who had THE cutest skirt on.

Like my son who is finally remembering to thank his coaches when he leaves practices and games without my husband or me telling him to.

And my daughter who has been taking the initiative to empty the dishwasher before being asked.

All week, I made a conscious effort to say the compliments that I might’ve only thought before.

And all week, I enjoyed the smiles and thank yous that were returned.

I think sometimes we forget how many of us walk around feeling unappreciated or unsure of ourselves, questioning our abilities or our appearances.

And sometimes we may not realize the boost that a little compliment can give.

Or the positive feelings it can create.

Or the encouragement it can provide.

As long as it's given away.

Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen...

I've heard it said that people either like to cook or they like to bake, but they rarely like to do both.

And for me, that's true.

Cookies, cupcakes, pastries...give me an excuse to make them and I'll hurry to the pantry and pull out my KitchenAid. I love making gingerbread houses and desserts for the holidays, or baking cakes for birthdays. And there’s nothing like a house filled with the smell of brownies or apple pie.

But cooking? That’s another story.

It’s not that I don’t cook. I do.

And it’s not that I hate it, either. I don’t.

It’s just that I always seem to get stuck in a rut, making the same six or seven recipes over and over until I’m up to my eyeballs in things like pesto and spaghetti and chicken and taco salad and burritos and, okay I’ll admit, quesadillas or grilled cheese when we’re on the run.

And every once in a while, when I happen to read a cooking magazine or see an amazing recipe, panic sets in and I worry that my kids aren’t getting enough variety.

That’s when I get super-motivated and dig through my recipe drawer and pull out things like Pozole Mexican Soup or Zucchini Carpaccio or Roasted Red Pepper Pasta or Cannellini Salad.

Then I go to the store.

And get all the ingredients.

And spend hours cooking.

And we sit down for dinner, and…

my kids eat two bites.

I know I could force them to eat. Believe me, I’ve said the line, “This isn’t a restaurant,” many times. But I don’t want to make an issue about food, and forcing them doesn’t always work anyway.

On account of my son’s (very strong) gag reflex.

And it’s after those kinds of dinners that I resort back to the six or seven recipes I know everybody likes.

It’s an ongoing cycle, and one that I need to do a better job of figuring out how to break.

Especially because my son has gotten a little too used to the menu lately.

Most notably, the burritos.

If he had his way, he’d eat them every day.

“Yes. We’re having burritos!” he said just the other night when he was helping me cook. (He had spotted the tortillas on the counter.)

“No,” I told him. “We’re having enchilada casserole.”

“Casserole?” He scrunched his face up. “Can’t we have burritos instead?”

“We just had burritos. We're having casserole tonight.”

He eyed the rest of the ingredients…olives, ground turkey, enchilada sauce, green chilies, cheese…

“But what’s in enchilada casserole?” he asked quietly.

“Almost the same thing as burritos,” I told him, “but the casserole has beans and enchilada sauce too.” I smiled. “Trust me. You’ll love it. You’ve had it before.”

He looked at me doubtfully and set the table, seemingly in deep thought.

When he was done, he came up to me. “Mom?” he said, “I have three suggestions.” (This from my seven year old.)

“Oh yeah? What are they?”

“How about we make enchilada casserole, but without the enchilada sauce, and without the beans, and without the casserole?”

Which pretty much means we'd be making burritos. :)


So I'm wondering...does anybody have any good tips on how to get picky eaters to like different foods?

---

p.s. I'm over at 5 Minute for Mom’s Faith Lifts today. Stop by to read about friendship and sticking together...

Life is like a Pair of Mismatched Shoes

The other day, as I walked across the parking lot to the gym, I realized my feet felt strange. I looked down and was surprised to see that, in my rush to get out the door, I had put on two different shoes.

One old and one new.

How I didn’t notice that until that point, I’m not sure.

I guess they do look similar...




There I stood, staring at my feet, laughing.

And I had a choice to make.

I could proceed to the gym, feeling (and looking) a little funny, and still get my workout. Or I could go home.

I shrugged and went in.

Right. Left. Right... My feet felt even more strange on the stair master.

And as I worked out, I thought about the fact that, really, my mismatched shoes were similar to how life is sometimes.

Because sometimes, things are not always balanced.

Life is not always neat and orderly.

We may have unmet expectations. Or get answers we don't want to hear.

And when that’s the case, we have a choice to make.

We can move ahead, trying to make the best of the situation. Or we can let it cause us to turn back. And even though moving forward can be hard, chances are, it will make us stronger.

I'm glad I exercised that day, in spite of my shoes. Because I ended up having a great workout.

And, as someone who is big on matching (and planning and organizing...), I think I needed the reminder that life can be very mismatched sometimes.

In fact, I'm sure I needed the reminder.

I must not have gotten the message the last time that I left the house with two different shoes on (I'm not kidding)...

Years ago, before we had kids, I hurried out one morning to get to work early, only to notice when I got there that I had one navy blue high heel on, and one black one. I went the whole day, running from meeting to meeting, with two different color shoes.

And now I'm looking back at that and cracking up. Because I've done it again.

Which reminds me all the more that life is about being flexible and making the most of any situation.

And about slowing down and paying attention.

Especially when I put my shoes on. :)

A Confidence Like No Other...

I'm over at 5 Minutes for Mom's Faith Lifts today. Stop by to read...

Yesterday, my daughter was sitting at the kitchen table doing homework for cheer as I was getting dinner ready. Her squad had been talking about respect and confidence all week, and she was filling out a questionnaire.

She read the first question out loud…

“Name one of the most confident people you know.”

I thought for sure she’d write Miley Cyrus, or one of the Jonas Brothers, or maybe one of her own friends.

But instead…

Read more...

-------

Thank you Mozi Esmi, Breanne at Expectantly Waiting, and Amanda at I Am Mommy for the sweet blog awards! I really appreciate you thinking of me.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Creating Quality Time by Ignoring the Clock

Last Saturday, when my daughter and I were out running errands, she climbed into the front seat of the car and with a huge smile on her face, stood up through the sunroof. “I’ve always wanted to do this!” she shouted, reaching her hands to the sky.

Even though we weren’t moving (we were parked in front of a store), she loved it.

“This is so fun!” she laughed.

And that’s how our whole morning went.

She and I had started out earlier for our errands...

I had my list of things to do and was looking forward to being productive.

But a few minutes after leaving the house, as we neared the Starbucks around the corner, a thought came to me…

Three times last week, my daughter asked me if we could get a hot chocolate together.

Three times I said no.

It was, “We have to get to basketball,” and “We have to get to swim team,” and “We can’t, or we’ll be late for cheer.”

As I thought about that, I wanted to make this day different. Our schedule was wide open, and I wanted to make the most of it.

I smiled and looked in the rear-view mirror. “Want to go to Starbucks? Just us girls?”

Her eyes got wide. “Sure!”

We sat at a table outside.

As we ate, we sprinkled crumbs on the ground and watched the birds.

We talked…

About how she felt about going into fourth grade.

And what her favorite thing about the summer was.

We saw a dog that reminded her of our dog Lady (who died a couple months ago), and we talked about God and Heaven.

We must’ve sat there for an hour, but I’m not sure.

I never checked the time.

After Starbucks, we headed to Linens-N-Things, where, halfway through the store, my daughter discovered the massage chairs.

“Mommy! We have to try these!”

She plopped into one of the chairs and pushed the Demo button. She laughed as the mechanical rollers went up and down her back.

I have to admit, normally, I’d watch her for a few minutes and then hurry her along.

But instead, I plopped into the chair next to her and smiled. “All right. How do you turn this thing on?”

We sat there for a long time, laughing and “oohing” and “ahhhing” through our massages.

We even got a few stares from people walking by.

Which made us laugh harder.

The next stop—a gift store—was just as fun. We held hands and browsed the aisles, taking our time.

And in our browsing, we found something that we never would’ve spotted had we been doing errands my way, at full speed. On a bottom shelf, tucked in the corner, was a box of large magnifying glasses--the exact size magnifying glass my son has been wanting for weeks.

It’s wonderful the things you discover when you’re not in a hurry.

And it’s amazing the quality time that can be created, simply by ignoring the clock.

When you think about it, my daughter and I didn’t do anything “special” on Saturday.

But, really, we did.

In the midst of ordinary things, we had an extraordinary time together.

And I was reminded that I don’t have to make grand plans to create special memories with my kids.

I just need to focus on them.

And slow down.

And ignore the clock.

“We should make this a tradition,” my daughter said after we finished our errands and headed home that day.

“We should,” I agreed.

And spending time like that may just end up being our best tradition ever.

Ten Reasons Why...

It seems like this week has been full of lists. One after the other has crossed my desk as I’ve read through email, other sites, and the news. Lists like...

“Ten Things About…” or

“Five Ways To…” or

“Three Tips On…”

Which is great, because I love lists. To a fault, actually.

Especially to-do lists.

It’s the checking-things-off that I like.

But, because there's always a lot to do, that makes for a lot of writing. And a lot of checking.

So I recently automated my list on my computer.

And that’s helped.

Except I can’t fit my laptop in my purse. And I like to bring my list with me (sad, I know). So now I find myself hand-writing a second list from the top items on my first list.

It’s ridiculous.

But I’m getting off topic. Back to this week and the lists I liked…

I was glad when Munchkins and Music stopped by my site and commented so I could find her site, and her great list of reasons why kids should learn music.

And then I happened upon a list with some easy and helpful tips to reduce water consumption.

And, thanks to Kelly at Pass The Torch, I was inspired by a list of young volunteers who’ve been recognized for making their communities a better place (Kelly’s own daughter was a regional scholarship recipient).

I also liked this one: 100 Things To Do During a Money Free Weekend.

And, because I can’t resist, here’s a list of my own:

Ten Reasons Why I’m Glad We Set Our Frogs Free:

1. I found a cricket hopping around our kitchen last weekend.

2. I found another one a few days before that.

3. In the bathroom.

4. Which means they’d been living in our house.

5. Since the cricket incident.

6. Over ten days ago.

7. Which gave me the willies again.

8. And made me glad my kids agreed that our frogs would be happier outside.

9. In our backyard.

10. Where they can feed themselves. :)

The Story About the Best Friends on the Train

Shortly after we boarded the train to San Francisco last week, we went to the Café car to get some coffee and breakfast.

We were standing in line, when the girl in front of me tapped the girl in front of her on the back. She turned around, and her face lit up.

“Oh my GOSH!” she shouted. She held out her arms.

They laughed and hugged.

"Oh my gosh! I can't believe this! Where are you headed?”

"The financial district.” They grabbed each other's hands.

“Me too!” They hugged again.

And again.

As my daughter said afterwards, "They sure made a scene, Mommy."

A beautiful scene.

The man at the register waited patiently for them to order. (Though I have to say, I don't think he minded the wait. He was smiling just as much as everyone else in there was.)

Finally, the girls turned to him.

“This is my BEST friend,” one of them said. She put her arm around the other's shoulder.

I smiled and fought the lump in my throat.

As they finished ordering, I heard them say, "This is perfect. We can sit together.”

I had to ask, “So you guys didn’t know you were both going to be on the train?”

“We had no idea!” They laughed.

“How long has it been since you’ve seen each other?”

And this is what really got me…

"About six weeks."

Six weeks?

By the way they acted, I would've guessed it had been longer.

"How neat," I choked, hoping they didn't notice my watery eyes.

Just then, their food was ready. They got their things, waved to the rest of us in line, and headed out of the Cafe car smiling and laughing.

I stood there, looking at the man ready to take my order, blinking back tears.

Because that might’ve been one of the sweetest encounters of friendship I’ve ever seen.

And it made me think of my own friends.

It made me remember when my friend Jen moved to New Jersey, and how hard we cried when we said goodbye. And how much I miss her.

It made me remember how my heart ached when my friend Lisa was diagnosed with breast cancer. And how much her strength and recovery inspired me.

It made me think about my friend Amy and how she and I still laugh about things we did in fourth grade. And all the memories we've shared since then.

It made me appreciate all they ways my friends have touched my life...bringing meals over when my kids were born, calling when I was going through something difficult, celebrating birthdays and successes.

And if I had to guess, I’d say those girls I saw on the train probably have a pretty special friendship.

They probably don't compete with each other.

They're probably truly happy for one another when something good happens.

They've probably seen each other at their worst, and instead of judging or criticizing, have helped each other to pull out of it. And supported each other through it.

Because that’s what friendship is about.

And seeing them that day made me even more grateful for the friends in my own life.

The friends I’d love to run into. Any time.

Sharks and Squirmles and Other Miscellaneous Items

Between a short trip to San Francisco and working to meet a deadline for a magazine this week, I haven’t had much “other” writing time. Which gives me a good excuse to put up some pictures from our trip and mention a few miscellaneous things.

First, the pictures.

We covered so much ground on our day to SF that it was almost like the movie Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. Except for us, it was trains, ferry boats, and buses. And thankfully, unlike the movie, all of our travels went smoothly.

We started out on the train.

Okay. I have to stop right here and ask, for all you writers out there, is this not the perfect writing spot? And there were actually a lot of people with their laptops and coffees, sitting in the morning sun, working.

I, on the other hand, was relaxing with my mother-in-law and the kids, and I was thankful for her idea to take this mini-vacation. We had a blast.

Although I didn’t do any writing, I did go to the Café car to get a coffee, where I witnessed a beautiful encounter between best friends that left me standing in line blinking back tears. (That’s a whole other story I’ll write about soon.)

After the train, we boarded a ferry. And the view of the Bay was breathtaking.

We docked at Pier 39, saw the sea lions…

then went to the Aquarium of the Bay, where we had an incredible “behind the scenes” tour. And where we got closer to sharks than I discovered I'm comfortable with (we got to walk a catwalk above the shark tank).

The day was gorgeous…

and filled with fun memories and interesting souvenirs…

Don’t ask. They're called Squirmles. My daughter had to have it.

But, sharks and Squirmles aside, it was one of the best days we’ve had all summer.

Now, the miscellaneous items…

I’ve been wanting to thank several people for the sweet awards they’ve given me over the past few weeks: Kristen at La Dolce Vita (who, by the way, makes beautiful jewelry), Janel at Dandelion Dayz, Monkey’s Momma, Tina at Spaghetti Pie, and Elizabeth at MommyETC. I appreciate all of you thinking of me!

And last, I’m over at 5 Minutes For Mom’s Faith Lifts today, so stop on by.

Happy Weekend, everyone!

Sometimes Trying is Winning

A few days ago, as I waited for my kids to dry off at their swim meet, I caught the last part of another group’s race.

All of the swimmers had finished, except for a young girl in the middle lane. She was struggling with her backstroke and was not quite halfway through her lap. Most of the cheering had quieted and all eyes were on her.

But one voice could still be heard.

Alongside the pool, this young girl’s dad walked at the same pace she swam.

“You can do it! Keep going!” he shouted, smiling.

You could tell he was proud that even though she was having a hard time, she wasn’t giving up.

It didn’t matter that the other swimmers had already finished.

It didn’t matter that his child would come in last.

What mattered to this man was that his daughter knew he believed in her.

He wasn’t sitting back in the bleachers, disappointed or frustrated. He was by her side, cheering her on. And when she finished her lap and climbed out of the pool, he beamed. “Good job!” he said.

I got a lump in my throat watching.

And it reminded me that winning isn’t as important as we often make it out to be.

As parents, I think sometimes we get too caught up in wanting our kids to succeed, in focusing more on competing than whether or not our kids are having fun or building character.

And maybe we forget that sometimes, trying is winning.

Even though I appreciate my kids’ strengths and weaknesses, and I know they’ll be good at some things and not others, I admit there’ve been times I’ve caught myself on the edge of my seat at a game wanting my child to score that winning goal. Or make that basket. Or hit that homerun.

Most of the time, I think our desire to see our kids succeed simply comes from wanting the best for them. Whether it’s in school, in sports, or in life. And I’m not saying that winning is bad. It’s not. We should teach our kids to reach for goals, and try hard, and learn how to apply themselves.

But I believe there’s a balance to be found, even though that's sometimes hard to do.

If our kids are giving their best effort, should it matter if they come in last?

And what good is first place if they only push themselves for our approval? A loss every now and then just might build more character than an undefeated season.

I want to remember how that dad at the swim meet encouraged his daughter.

I want to remember his seemingly unconditional pride.

Because I want to give my kids that same kind of lift.

Whether they come in first place or last.

Whether they win or lose.

I want them to know I’m proud of them.

Always.

A Cricket or Two. Or Thirty.

You’d think the mice were enough.

But somehow our kids came home from grandma and grandpa’s house with frogs.

It’s my fault, actually.

I said they could.

However, I distinctly remember saying they could bring two.

They brought six.

I could’ve intervened, I know. But when I saw how tiny the frogs were, I figured, two or six--what’s the difference? They’re actually pretty cute.

Besides, it’s not the frogs that are the problem.

It’s the crickets.

A couple of days ago, my husband woke me up with a gentle shake and a…

“Gen, I’m so sorry, I have a meeting that I can’t be late for and I just noticed there are crickets all over the house.”

Crickets?

Not exactly the sweet cup of coffee he brings upstairs most mornings. It took me a second to understand what he was saying.

See, we’d bought this thing for the frogs called the Bug Box.

It’s a whole little cricket ecosystem, all in one box. Tasty, plump morsels that stay fresh, too. And when it’s time to feed the frogs, you just open the little trap door on the side of the box, shake a cricket out, then close the door. Or at least that's what I did.

I even taped over it for good measure.

Apparently, crickets eat tape.

And after they escaped through the hole, they proceeded to gallivant around our kitchen. And our living room. And our dining room.





The picture doesn’t do the scene justice. This just happens to be the only cricket that would stop hopping long enough for me to get a shot.

I don’t know how many crickets come inside those Bug Boxes, but let me just say there was a great turnout at the cricket party at our house that morning.

The nice, little 6 a.m. cricket party.

There I was, on my hands and knees (without coffee, I might add), chasing crickets around with a paper towel and tossing them into the frog cage. Except for the crickets that were a little too fast or a little too big.

Those I might’ve pinched a little too hard.

At least the frogs were happy, though.

Even if I wasn’t.

Until I had my coffee.

Then I felt better.

Mostly. Because, still, all that day and the next, we found crickets around the house. Running along the baseboards, lurking in the corners, hopping across the carpet.

And, call me weird, but that gave me the willies more than finding my daughter’s mouse in the laundry basket.

Way more.

A Sure Way to Make Laundry (seem) Easier

Are you up to your ears in laundry?

Believe me, I know how you feel.

I guarantee, after you read this, it won’t seem so bad.

Doing laundry may even start to look easy.

Almost fun. I’m serious.

One of the stops my husband and I made during our time without kids last weekend was a museum at an old winery in California.

In the museum, there was a washtub with a note next to it. It was a re-typed list from a mother to a daughter written sometime around the turn of the twentieth century, describing how to do the family laundry.

All in 10 simple steps.

Really.

Read on…


Wash on Monday:

1. Build a fire in the backyard to heat kettle of rainwater.

2. Set tub so smoke will not blow in your eyes if wind is present.

3. Shave a whole cake of lye soap in the boiling water.

4. Sort clothes in three piles—one of white clothes, one of colored, and one of rags and britches.

5. Stir flour in cold water until smooth, then thin down with boiling water to make starch.

6. Rub dirty spots on the board, then boil them. Rub colored clothes, but do not boil. Take white things out of kettle with broom handle, then rinse, blue, and starch.

7. Hang clothes on line except tea towels, which should be spread on the grass. Hang old rags on the fence.

8. Pour rinse water in flower beds.

9. Scrub privy seat and floor with soapy water.

10. Turn tubs upside down. Put on a clean dress, comb hair. Make a cup of tea to drink while you sit and rest a spell, and count your blessings.


I don’t know about you, but after reading that, I’m counting my blessings for sure!


* list used with permission from the Sobon Estate

And Then There Were Stuffed Animals Flying In The Back Seat

Last weekend, my husband and I were on our way to drop the kids off at my parent’s house for a few days when our wedding song came on the radio.

I looked over at him and smiled. “How perfect to kick the weekend off with this song.”

We’d been looking forward to having some time alone.

"What song?” my daughter asked from the back seat, stopping the game of stuffed-animal-tug-o-war she’d been playing with her brother.

"This is the song Daddy and I had at our first dance at our wedding.” I turned the radio up.

John Michael Montgomery sang… “And I like the way your eyes dance when you laugh…”

"Will I have to dance at my wedding?” my son asked. “I don’t like dancing.”

“No, but by the time you get married, you’ll probably want to.” I smiled and settled in to listen to the lyrics.

“We should watch our wedding video this weekend,” I told my husband. He nodded and reached over and grabbed my hand.

“If you sent your wedding video to America’s Funniest Home Videos and won money for it, could you buy me a new spy set?” my son asked.

Not wanting to get into a conversation right then (I had a SONG to listen to), I humored him, “Sure.”

I squeezed my husband’s hand and thought about our wedding day and that first dance…

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the kids start pulling on each other’s animals again.

And then there was a shout.

“Mom! She pulled the thread out of Chestnut’s ear! Now it’s hanging.”

I turned around. Sure enough, one of his ears was longer than the other...

"I didn’t mean to,” my daughter said. “It was an accident. We were playing.”

My son reached over to grab her bear. “I’m gonna get Brownie's ear too.”

“Guys!” I said. “Leave each other’s animals alone. And be quiet, please.”

I desperately wanted to hear the last part of the song.

“Mom? If you were me, would you pull Chestnut’s other ear to match, or would you fix this one?” my son asked. “Which do you think would look better?”

“Either way,” I said, not even turning around. “Now, no more questions. I’m trying to listen to this song.”

“Do you think I should pull the other ear?” I heard him ask my daughter.

“I would,” she said. “Here, let me see it.”

“No.”

“Just let me see it.”

“No! He’s mine.”

And then there were stuffed animals flying in the back seat.

“If you guys don’t stop throwing those around,” my husband said, “I’m taking them and putting them in the front. I’m trying to drive.”

For a sweet minute, all was quiet.

Except for the last part of our song.

Which I relished…

“I looove the way you love me …”

As soon as it was over, though, Chestnut and Brownie flew up in the air again.

"That’s it,” my husband said. “Hand them up here.”

And somehow I started my romantic weekend with my husband…

with two stuffed animals in my lap.


p.s. We still had a great time, and thanks to my parents, so did the kids!

Creating A Family Tradition With The Red Plate

Years ago, my mother-in-law gave us this beautiful red plate as a gift.

Apparently, among some early American families, when someone deserved special acknowledgement, it was a tradition to serve them dinner on The Red Plate.

I loved the idea, and my husband and I started using the plate for birthdays.

And then one time I decided to set it out when he got a promotion.

And on Father’s Day.

And on our anniversary.

When our kids were no longer babies, we started using The Red Plate for them too… for birthdays...preschool graduations...the first day of school.

This year, on my husband’s birthday, the kids and I surprised him and set his place for breakfast before he came downstairs. My daughter set a nice placemat, my son climbed up on the counter and got one of our “fancy” water glasses (while I held my breath hoping he wouldn’t fall), and I set our “good” silverware.

“Get The Red Plate, Mommy!” they both reminded me.

They were excited and proud. Because the plate doesn’t just represent something to eat on. It represents a fun tradition.

And making someone feel special.

And family memories.

We even have two Red Plates now (thanks again to my mother-in-law). So if we want to randomly pick a day and say to our kids, “We’re celebrating both of you because you’re great and we love you,” we can.

And many years from now, when our daughter and son move out on their own, I’ll pack those plates up and wrap them securely in tissue, and send one off with each of them.

And when I do, I’ll probably cry, remembering all the times we’ve used the plates, and all the memories they represent.

But mostly, I think I’ll be happy, thinking about the day my kids might decide to unwrap the tissue and start building family traditions of their own.

What about you? Do you have a fun tradition in your family?

I’d love to hear about it!

Moments That Stay

I got a hug from my son the other day that surprised me.

Because in the last several months, at just seven years old, he’s gotten very independent--not wanting me to hug him around his friends, or call him “buddy”, or kiss him when I drop him off places.

I was sitting at the kitchen table and he just walked over and climbed up onto my lap.

At first, I thought maybe he was hurt or upset about something.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing.” He smiled.

Then he wrapped both his arms around my neck, rested his head on my shoulder, and hugged me.

I hugged him back.

Tight.

“Love you, Mom,” he whispered.

“Love you, too.” I could barely get the words out.

And I wished the moment would never end.

But too quickly, it did.

After a minute, he slid off my lap and ran upstairs to play.

And just like that, it was over.

But even though that moment didn’t last as long as I wanted it to, it stayed with me.

Because no matter how fast our kids grow, or how independent they become, moments like that never go away.

They never end.

They stay tucked away in the beautiful memories of motherhood.

Forever.

Need A Lift, Anyone?

Setting and reaching goals can be challenging.

Whether you’re trying to achieve career success, lose weight, or become more organized, sometimes it can be hard to make things happen.

Believe me, there’ve been many times amidst the rejection letters that I’ve questioned my own writing goals.

But in these moments of doubt and frustration, the encouragement of others has often helped me to stay the course.

Encouragement like this sweet note my daughter gave me a couple of years ago...

And encouragement like the card I got from my mother-in-law, where she wrote, “We believe in you and know that someday your stories will be published.” I still keep it on my desk next to my computer.

Sometimes, no matter how strong our resolve is, or how hard we work at reaching our goal, the end result still seems far away. And the process of getting there hard.

But when others come alongside and give us that extra push--that extra support--we’re able to keep at it.

That card, or that phone call, or that reminder not to give up, can be just the thing that helps someone persevere.

And hang in there.

And maybe even realize their dream.

Because everyone needs a lift now and then.

And when we reach out and give a little encouragement, it can make all the difference in the world.

5 Reasons Why Whiteboards Are The Greatest Parenting Tool Ever

When I think of a whiteboard, I usually think of a classroom. Or an office.

Which is why, when my kids first said they wanted whiteboards in their rooms, I wasn’t thrilled.

I have to admit, I’m big on things matching, and I liked the cloth bulletin boards filled with cute pictures they already had above their beds (the only place on their walls a big whiteboard would fit).

I didn’t think whiteboards would quite “go with the décor”.

But, remembering how much fun I had drawing and coloring on them growing up, I got over it and bought them for my kids.

It was one of the best things I ever did.

Because, over the last year, I’ve seen what an awesome parenting tool these things can be...

1. Whiteboards encourage teamwork and interaction.

To see my kids sitting together, drawing pictures like these and playing games is awesome. And it sure beats TV.

2. Whiteboards help communication.

Some things are hard to say, but not as hard to write. There have been times that our kids have wanted to tell us something, but instead of saying it--maybe because it’s embarrassing or uncomfortable--they’ve asked if they can write it. How awesome that they have this alternative right next to their bed, which is where most of these conversations take place.

And my daughter, who tends to get stubborn (can’t imagine where she gets that from), and who has a hard time saying sorry (can’t imagine where she gets that from either), has used the whiteboard for this very reason. If ever we have a rough night, when I go to her room to check on her later, I often find her sound asleep with a note like this written on her board:

I'm glad she can get that off her chest before going to sleep. And I'm especially glad she's nice to me 99.7% of the day. :)

3. Whiteboards are awesome for teaching.

My husband uses the whiteboard to show the kids soccer plays and math problems, and I use it to practice things like spelling. When we're sitting on the bed with the kids, relaxed and talking, teaching somehow becomes an easy thing.

4. Whiteboards can provide a window into kids' hearts.

How neat to go into my kids' rooms and find pictures and sayings like this, or little prayers and songs that they've written.

5. Whiteboards help parents communicate, too.

Every night, I write a new note to my kids on their boards.

Sometimes, it’s as simple as “I love you” or “You’re the best”.

But sometimes, it’s more.

Like “I’m sorry for losing my patience today.”

Or “Congratulations!” for a soccer goal scored, or a spelling test aced.

Because, in the middle of our busy days, I might forget to tell them these things. And when I go into their rooms at night, and see their sweet faces as they sleep, I’m overwhelmed with the love I have for them.

And that’s something I want them to know.

That's something I want them to wake up to.

So if it takes a big ol’ white board smack in the middle of their wall to help me remind them, I’m all for it.

Whether it goes with the décor or not.